An impulse post...

Once again, life is busy. Our school's Annual Day is coming up. And based on the annual tradition, here are some of the "rules" of the annual day:

1. Study goes from full to nil in a week. Students run off to practise (or pretend to) and teachers go over to help them practise (!)
2. There's no better time in the year to socialize and catch up with friends whom you haven't seen in a while
3. After a point, you give up on working harder and harder and focus on peace of mind instead
4. You get used to hearing "didi" and "bhaiya" when you're working with your juniors
5. If you're considered responsible at all, you're wanted on special service by half a dozen teachers
6. You discover that running up and down the stairs with papers in hand is an excellent way to work out
7. You find all kinds of freebies everywhere including, wait for it...free cake
8. Teachers act very, VERY different all of a sudden, some acting joyous, and others, snappish
9. You sometimes feel like a doormat, before you forget it and get into school spirit again
10. Once the decoration work and rehearsals start, confusion reigns supreme !

My main contribution this time has been to train the NCC cadets. I've been working hard everyday (even out of school) to get them into shape. We have to train groups of them to greet the chief guest when he arrives. And believe me, it's no easy task.You're having to deal with students from  from 7th to 10th class by teaching them how to turn, stand at attention and go through different motions as well as keeping them disciplined. You're practically guaranteed the following if you want a good outcome: throats hoarse from shouting, ears tired from hearing complaints, legs tired with running here and there to get things going, irritation from idiots shouting taunts and brains overworked with stress. Me and the other commanders had our lows, when we felt so depressed that we felt like quitting. We had some highs where we thought it could still be salvaged. But now we're trying for a more practical approach. This is the net result of our hopes, dreams and efforts. We can do our best and then hope for the best. If we're disappointed, well, we'll all be pretty hurt for a while, but ultimately, there's no logical reason to blame ourselves too much. The experience was worth it and we can only hope that it will be as memorable for the cadets as it was for us. NCC has a special place in our hearts and we only hope that the spirit will be carried forward by the young students whom we trained this time.

It's been tricky to keep up with classroom studies and practices. Luckily, the teachers and my fellow students have been wonderfully understanding, so I didn't have much trouble. In the meantime, there are enough theatrics everywhere to keep us amused. Especially from watching rehearsals which is a great source of laughs and jokes - Right from the my home turf, the NCC, to the drama and choir rehearsals, and even at random moments in the corridors. From prizewinners to participants, everyone is part of it!

But in a few days, it'll all be over and it'll be the start of the winter vacations. Another in the line, *Sigh*

I'm not saying that we don't need vacations. A student's life is incomplete without holidays to laze around in, right? And in this winter cold, who wants to freeze themselves by going to school? But we've just had so MANY holidays this year. Summer vacations, autumn break, commonwealth holidays and of course, public holidays with weekends. Last session, I'd had enough of sitting home for two months before my boards. I really think I've had enough of holidays for a while now. Actual study is getting interrupted again and again when we have exams early in 11th class. Do we need another vacation? Ah well, better find some way not to get bored. Best of luck to me!

I'll also confess I'm really nervous about 12th, or rather, after 12th coming closer. Last year of school, boards, career, alma mater, college and other such topics run through my mind like cunning hunters. As if they're just waiting for me to mess up.( Yeah, I take on a lot of advance pressure, any tips from my readers? )

In the meantime, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all my readers! Hope you have a wonderful year ahead  :)

Cheers, people!

Image from : http://joonbug.com/national/glamdamnit/Need-Gifts-For-Your-Trendy-Friends/BR5pgf4NAjL

Hi everyone!

And I'm baaaaaaacccccckkkkkk!

Yes, after about two months of staying away, I'm back. I've updated the blog with a new post and a new template. In this last month before the new year, I'll have enough time to update my blog more often. And yes, I probably deserve to be punished anyway.



*Stands up bravely for the virtual storm of tomatoes, potatoes, eggs etc.*


Yeah, I've been EXTREMELY negligent these last few months. (BTW, Anyone miss me?)


And yes, I have been feeling very very guilty too. So moving on. 


Life's been crazy busy these last few months. My reasons for not updating my blog kept changing with time. Here's a condensed list:


1. Procrastination
2. An on-off obsession with productivity, which stopped me from accessing the net for a days at a time
3. Teachers adding lots of unofficial tasks 
4. Trying to build up a chain of posts which would release one after another so I wouldn't have to worry about updating
5. Using my computer time to explore other subjects like writing better, public speaking, music, books, movies etc.
6. Working hard for a chain of inter school competitions 
7. Things in every sphere of life were fast and one day led to another.


But like I said, I'm sorry to all my readers. You guys are the reason I developed some confidence and interest in my writing skills. Thanks for waiting so patiently until this post.


So as a compensation, here's one of my poems. (I wrote it about two months ago) Hope you'll like it! 

Before the sun rose

In this dawn time, things are quite still

Except for the occasional passing car and the delicate calls of early birds

One lone streetlight still shines

Even as the light blue sky and its white moon fade, forgotten

To be replaced by a golden tinge along the horizon

That orange arc far away reminds me that the real sun will rise soon

Leaving but pale memories of these tinges and arcs

And while some have woken to meet the sun

Others slumber, waiting for a different reminder of the new day

As the time passes, I see flocks of birds and more cars

I see trucks, vegetable sellers and newspaper boys

But few people look around, busy in fulfilling the purpose for which they had risen

Except the many folks out for their morning walks

And cute dogs going for their own

So far, the tree leaves have been quite still

They barely even fluttered with the breeze

As if they, the heavy sleepers, the perpetual workers

Were not to be disturbed

I look up once more from my writing

Birds are flying past the blending colours

The soft spectrums of yellow, brown, orange and blue along the horizon

As if they are part of them, painted by an artist

It is silent once more and I’m alone on my balcony

But a bird on the streetlight calls out to me

It comforts me, saying that even in the chaos of humanity

I will find nature and its beauty, if I look

As the sparkling crimson makes me turn to gaze

She flutters away after her friends

And I run in to my studies.

                                  

- Charu

Imagine nature and humanity together...

Well, It's time to go to all the blog posts which I read recently, but didn't comment on. Cheers people!






:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :D Glad to be back ;)

Charu
















(P.S. - I'd like to avoid any copyright complications. This image I used was taken from http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:New_Delhi_North_Block.jpg and originally came from the Flickr page here http://www.flickr.com/photos/13527886@N00/369077062/)

Stuck at home...again

I'm writing this post on the 8th of september (that sounds lame). I've been feeling guilty for a while for not updating my blog and I don't have much to do, so here's an update from my end.

Let's start with the title of this post. Why am I home? Oh, the epidemics currently travelling in the city of Delhi decided to pick on a student of 11th class. One who gets frantic if she has to miss school, doesn't like covering up missed work and is worried about half yearly exams on Monday. Just her luck. Here's how it started (and in case you don't feel like reading a sick diary, feel free to skip to the end):

• My diary says that the symptoms started on the...30th. The day started off with a bodyache, headache and temperature. Of course, my family insisted I stay home and after a lot of protest, I had to agree. I did feel guilty as I knew that I might miss work, but I optimistically hoped that I wouldn't miss too much. In the meantime, I sat at home, lazily watching a movie on TV while announcements in school (I live right across my school) kept on blaring. I even sat home making up theories for the symptoms: basketball, stress and a heavy school bag 

• On visiting the doctor, I was told (to my horror) that I had viral fever. To add to the experience, the doctor told me to stay home for three days and take about five different medicines every day. Now let me say it straight away: I don't like swallowing medicines. I think it's a deep seated fear of choking. However a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do. So I just had to take those coin sized pills. On the bright side though, all symptoms vanished with the first dosage. But I knew perfectly well I wouldn't be allowed to go to school until three days were over.

• I spent the next three days in my words "going up and down the stairs like a restless spirit". Luckily, I also took out time to read a few new books and do a little study as well. I eventually came to the conclusion that I really did need a break from my studies. But I was sure that all the peace of mind I would've gained would vanish once I returned to school. Besides, I was getting a little cranky stuck at home.

• The 2nd (janamashtami) was my last holiday before I returned to school. I returned to school on the 3rd to enquiries from several students wondering why the padaku of the class had vanished for three weekdays. Yes there was work to cover up, but I managed eventually. But that's when the next problem came on...

CONJUNCTIVITIS

And now to end that little story, NOW I'm stuck at home with conjunctivitis a.k.a. eye flu. The red eyes and the swelling started yesterday in school and I'm on leave today. I'm stuck home with red, swollen, itchy, streaming eyes feeling cranky...again, this time along with my whole family. This time I don't have any pills to swallow, but now I have something more menacing - eye drops! Fortunately, I don't have to worry about covering up any work since only revision is going on in the school right now. But still...now I'm stuck at home AGAIN ! So here follows the rant of a little girl who doesn't think she's studied properly for exams. (Disclaimer: Whether she's right or wrong remains to be seen):

I have so many chapters to cover! If I can't even read, how the heavens am I going to prepare? It's Maths on Monday and I haven't practised well enough. It's Political Science on Thursday and I've haven't even read all the chapters. I don't even feel like studying. Great, after all this, I'm preparing to fail? Aaaarrrgghhhh...
End Rant

Ah well. Moving on...

And now, after a very long time, here is not one, but three pieces of 55 fiction:

Old age

She’d gone through myriad experiences: Regretted, celebrated, cherished and fleeting.

She’d felt different things: Fear, happiness, excitement, despair, confusion, admiration, anger, kindness…

And yet she wondered,

Had she achieved her purpose?

She’d made her choices. And she had given her best, she smiled. Life was what she thought it was.

And now it was over.

-----------------------------------------

A choice

There was too much to do. Why? He had decided before that this was too important. He trusted his past judgment. But how to do it?

He toiled on, thinking about the loss, the pain, the past...

Finally, he screamed, “Enough!”  

And the door slammed behind him.

Why? There was a life to be lived. 

------------------------------------------------

Inevitable

In his 15 years, he’d never seen it. 

Others were working in the field. No one noticed the cloud climbing the hill. Usually, he would’ve celebrated Indra’s generosity. Not now.

Lives would be lost and destroyed. Great fuss would be caused. But it would cease, and they would be left alone.

The flood came closer…

----------------------------------------------- 

Here are links to two great articles I've found:

1. http://37signals.com/svn/posts/2538-the-first-step-is-to-start - A great article called "the first step is to start"

2. http://in.news.yahoo.com/columnist/anand_ramachandran/7/a-plan-to-save-the-commonwealth-games - A great satire on our very own Commonwealth games

Got to go, time for the eye drops. Hope I'll get well quickly.
Take care of your health folks, and have a great week!

A poem about poem writing

I wrote this a long time ago when I was sitting in another school. I had gone there for a competition and the enterprising driver who was to drive us back had vanished. So I was sitting bored for quite a while, when I remembered that I'd planned to write a poem like this. Here it is, so do tell me what you think!



A poem about poem writing


There's this thing that I want to do
Which I haven't tried in a while
Though it's something close to my heart
Even attempting it again seems futile

I'm talking about writing a poem
It's one of my favourite arts
Maybe not something formidable
But I'm finding it hard to start!

There are plenty of things I know and see
Lots of thoughts inside of me
But as I sit here is this cool breeze
Which ones to leave and which to seize?

I look out the window
I see the tree tops and the birds
I leaves fly and clouds pass by
I see a fresh and many coloured earth

I look out the door
The street lamps stand still and cars move on
Feelings of hope, dejection, joy and sadness travel the roads
Carrying things or travelling without, people walk on

I look around me
Things I can feel but not touch exist
Air, breeze, smells, love, hate, yells
Invisible as they are, they touch me

I look in my mind
It's thoughts, ideas and plans I find
Facts, knowledge and my daily grind
With logic, judgement and their kind

I look in my heart
Emotions, morals and ethics play a part
While higher thoughts and fantastic hopes scheme
To fuel my life and dreams

What shall I choose to create?
What can I write that will be great?
With so many things everywhere
I hope wealth of experience and things to express will give rise to another poem to share

  

                                                                      - Charu 

Random writing

This was a random piece I wrote last Saturday when I was in school with friends. It was raining nicely and my friends were busy laughing, chattering and clicking pics. I decided to try writing something. I didn't like it much at the time, but when I read it later, I decided to post it. What do you think?








thousands of drops fall. They live a short life falling and splashing away. Together they create a continuous flow and pattern. Seeping into ground and fanning out, small pools are their last tribute before moving on. Small as they are, we hear some of them but with our silence, they can't hear us. Laughter rings out, but the drops dance on. In continuous columns, they splash down, unknowing, unmindful, uncaring of our random chatter. The ground is their stage and the sky sends them forth, watching and leaving to train others. They don't care for human boundaries, what walls, doors and words we throw their way. they come and go as they wish, doing what their ancestors did, until they're reborn to try again.

A quick post...

Just a very quick post to put up two new poems I found. Let me know what you think!




-----------------------------------------------------------------






The panther - By Rainer Maria Rilke




His vision, from the constantly passing bars,
has grown so weary that it cannot hold
anything else. It seems to him there are
a thousand bars; and behind the bars, no world.

As he paces in cramped circles, over and over,
the movement of his powerful soft strides
is like a ritual dance around a center
in which a mighty will stands paralyzed.

Only at times, the curtain of the pupils
lifts, quietly--. An image enters in,
rushes down through the tensed, arrested muscles,
plunges into the heart and is gone. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------


Autumn song - By Sarojini Naidu



Like a joy on the heart of a sorrow,
   The sunset hangs on a cloud;
A golden storm of glittering sheaves,
Of fair and frail and fluttering leaves,
   The wild wind blows in a cloud.

Hark to a voice that is calling
   To my heart in the voice of the wind:
My heart is weary and sad and alone,
For its dreams like the fluttering leaves have gone,
   And why should I stay behind? 

Surprises

This post is overdue. I'll explain why it's overdue in a future post, but since this post has been requested, I'll deal with it first.

This is about an event that happened on the 21st. There was an inter house debate in school. The topic was "Commonwealth Games not for the common man". Each house had two speakers, for and against, and one interjector. I was the interjector, which meant I could ask any of the speakers a question after they had finished. This also meant that I had to know both sides of the argument since my job was only to ask a good question, not to take sides. I'd known about this debate for a while but I hadn't prepared anything (reason again in a forthcoming post). So on the morning, I reached the auditorium thinking that I would just have to think up something on the spot.

It was there that I realised that the person who was supposed to one of the speakers from our house wasn't there. Some frantic running around over, I realised that he really was absent and now my house, Tagore, was a speaker short.

I sat with the other interjectors, ridiculously hoping that someone from Tagore would volunteer when the compere would announce that Tagore was short. When the speaker's name was announced, I explained that he  was absent. To my horror, the compere asked the interjector to come up instead. The alternative was Tagore would be disqualified. So I went up in a state of confusion, scolding myself for not preparing and telling my self that I had absolutely no chance in front of the other debaters who had actually prepared something. By God's grace, I had to speak for the side I actually believed in (let's not start a debate, but it was for the motion). I don't recall what I said verbatim, but I started by saying that I'd been caught off guard just like the people of India (and because I realised that the mike wasn't working when I first began speaking). I said that this was like preparing for a final exam in one day, what should've been done in ten years was being done in 6 months, public money was being wasted, even the work already accomplished was very unstable and would not last long or give any long term benefits. I think I paused, questioned, repeated things, gesticulated, talked to ceiling and who knows what else. All this time, the memory of my first debate (also inter house) kept looming in my mind. I'd  gotten stage fright by staring at the judge, forgotten everything and somehow managed to cover it up by speaking whatever I remembered extempore. I'd been very upset afterwards. This time, I have no idea how I muddled through and as I couldn't see any reaction while speaking, good or bad, I was a bit worried. But I somehow managed to finish well and left the stage to applause. To my great surprise afterwards, I was actually placed second! Even more surprising (to me) was the amount of appreciation I got. I've never been commended, praised, congratulated and appreciated this much in my life.Students from classes 9 through 12 were congratulating me on all sides. Students I hadn't talked to in ages and even those whom I didn't know were praising me as if I'd broken a world record. I was even congratulated warmly by friends and teachers who hadn't been there! And to believe that they were all congratulating me for something I hadn't even prepared for! The best part about this was that it was a private victory. I received a public victory in something which I actually felt I had done well. Satisfying indeed and certainly making me feel very very happy. And this happy state and the congratulations lasted for three more days :)

Luck, talent or whatever it was, clicked :) ...

P.S. For anyone who's wondering, my speakers still aren't fixed :(

A little something...

Let me start at the beginning.

Two weeks ago, my UPS started acting funny.

When I switched it on one evening, its light turned red and it began beeping. 

I turned it off and tried again. Same result.

I tried the next day. Once again, same result.

Another day passed, and I called someone to check it up.

Apparently my faithful UPS had a drained battery. It was dead. 

So for the last week, I worked with the constant fear that the power would go before I could switch the computer off myself and I would lose what I was working on. 

But the real problem was yet to reveal itself. 

The man who had come to disconnect the UPS had also disconnected my speakers.

So for the past week, I've been working without speakers.

It was then, of course, that I realised how much I use them and depend on then.

And it was then, of course, that almost everything I had to do seemed to NECESSARILY need speakers.

Email attachments - "Check out this great pps. Remember to turn up the volume"

Websites - "Turn up the volume"

Music - What's the use of a music streaming site without speakers???

Internet countdowns - I use them sometimes when I'm working on the computer. Now, I couldn't hear them blaring at me!

Youtube - Listening to relaxing music was no longer as relaxing

I almost missed the error messages

Just yesterday evening, I remembered another situation, about a month ago, in my summer holidays. I'd been stung by a bee or wasp of some kind. For about 4 days, my right index finger was swollen, painful and unable to move. I couldn't write, type, do up my laces, brush comfortably and a whole host of other things that I was used to doing without any problem. 

For a time, I was stuck without being to do much besides watch TV or read. 


For some reason, I remembered some stories I had read in a Chicken Soup about people who were physically challenged had overcome all odds. I began marvelling at them. Imagine being unable to do something everyone else can, while feeling that the whole world is against you. Imagine seeing everyone around you easily doing all the things you can only struggle with. Imagine knowing that its something you'll have to live with. Imagine the dissatisfaction, the frustration and the helplessness. 


I'm not saying all this to victimise those who are challenged, but I think we should all marvel at strength some of them have. While we face troubles ranging from aches, pains, sprains, cuts, bruises and all such things, they face something very different. Only a week of working without speakers made me feel how much I was missing. I practically felt cheated, as if the universe was trying to taunt me. My speakers will be fixed soon someday, but what about them? Who knows if help for them will be so easily available or even possible?  And yet, we see miracles everyday; not only from the challenged but from various people facing different crises. I don't quite know how to express it, but it was quite an eye opener to realise that it might not be the big things, but it's certainly the small things that irk the most. This means that its those who deal with these (for us) small things without losing heart are certainly to be admired.

"I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble." - Hellen Keller

Oh and I'm extremely sorry I haven't posted for so long. I was procrastinating on blogging for a while. I was also  starting all sorts of things like diary writing in my spare time. Will try harder from now on.

Some insights

By way of a blog post, I'd like to share a few insights I've gained in the last few months. Hope you'll find them as interesting as I did.

I gained this first insight when I was brushing one morning. I was looking at my face in the mirror and remembering myself when I was younger. I've been wearing spectacles for many years and this fact always used to irritate me. Somehow I always felt that I looked better without them and I wished I didn't have to wear them (Yes, I knew I could switch to contacts later, but still). But as I grew older, I became more peaceable with the fact and accepted it. A few months ago, I'd switched to a new pair of frames after having worn the same one for many years.( I'd made this choice on the basis of the shopkeeper's opinion that it looked a lot better and thinking that it was time I changed. It's only now that I'm somewhat convinced.) I began thinking about various solutions one might try to solve this problem of not liking specs (besides the obvious contacts and laser surgery) and I came up with: better frames, better hairstyle, better clothes, better attitude.
And then it struck me: I was targeting the wrong problem. My problem was not how to make spectacles look good. My problem was my bad eyesight. By targeting the wrong problem, I'd wasted many years worrying about a problem I really could not solve. It made me wonder how many other problems I was fruitlessly trying to solve.

I gained the second insight while reading a motivation piece in the paper. It described how, when we have problems, we appeal to God asking "Why me?". At this point I myself thought about how we sometimes let ourself feel victimised and defeated. On further reading, the piece asked why it is that when we feel fortunate and blessed we do not then ask "Why me?". I thought about how fortunate some of us are compared to others. How often do we ask God if we deserve it or why we should be so fortunate? Compared the enormous griefs which some people undergo in their lives, most of us don't even ask if we deserve all we already have or be grateful for it. I think the lesson is to put as bold face to problems as we can instead to questioning as if we are the only ones with problems.

This third insight is not really an insight per se, but a comment I found while surfing. The comment was on  this page of a blog called Lifehacker. It was on a post about to do lists, especially web based ones.  Here it is:

Pen and paper reminds me of the advantages of the good old red diary.
Crash-proof (I have never had a corrupted database with a red diary), rugged (you can dropkick them), water-resistant (within reason - don't dunk your diary), excellent data retention (they have good binding), intuitive UI (just write), self-powered (no batteries required; it just needs light to work), with handwriting recognition (if you can read your chicken-scratch) and the ability to permanently delete an entire day with a single motion (rip out the page).
Sometimes, low-tech is the best tech.

What do you think?

---------------------------------

I've received another award! This is the Cherry on top award from Vivarjitha.

The rules are:

1. Thank the person who gave this award to you 

Thanks Vivarjitha!!!

2. Copy the award and put it on your blog. - done

3. List three things which you love about yourself.

Hmm...I'm not sure. Let's see

1. I have a huge wonderful family. So I love the fact that I'm so lucky ;)
2. I love the fact that I like many, many activities and want to try many more
3. I love the fact that I can stand back from things and observe them

4. Post a picture you love.

This little guy gave me loads of trouble when I was trying to click him  :)  :)

5. Tag 5 people you wish to pass this award on to.

As it turns out, almost all the people I would like to give this award to already have it so I'm passing it on to:

Vintage obsession

&

Writing Revived 

Congrats guys!

My vacations end on the 1st of July. Hope everyone's having a good summer so far :)

My summer holidays

The weather feels wonderful today , so I thought I'd post a little update.

First, I'll mention the board results. My CGPA is *drumroll*.......9.2. Despite the fact that MANY students got more than I did, the amount of congratulations I've received was frankly surprising. Still, not complaining. I did better than I expected in some subjects and worse in others, so overall I feel sort of mixed.

My first action as a vacationer was to fulfil my quota of complaining. Luckily, there weren't many power cuts, but the heat and lack of rain made up for it all *sigh*. Besides, I also complained that I would get bored in the holidays. I'd already had holidays before the boards, for almost two months. So here was another huge block of time to waste and regret later. Well, I thought, that's exactly what I'm not going to do. So I started the holidays in  a determined frame of mind: list of daily tasks, weekly goals and a constant stream of new material (books, music and movies). I started off with "7 habits of highly effective teens" by Sean Covey (A very good book, which I would definitely recommend to everyone). I'd made lots of plans for the holidays: new things to learn, new habits to implement, new changes to make and tasks to complete.

I started with my holiday homework straight away and as it turns out, it was a good thing I did, because this way I've been able to manage everything so far in stages. There's still quite a bit to do, but I'm sure I can finish well.

In the meantime, I've been able to visit family members and new places. I've also visited my school twice and met with my teachers. I'm also learning the piano though lessons on the internet.

Well, in essentials, that's about it. But don't worry, I'll be putting up a couple of poems about some of the different moments of my vacation so far. I hope you'll like them, but until then, hope you're having a wonderful summer!

                                                    I just liked the picture :)














Image from: http://www.eglobe1.com/index.php/2006/11/12/spider-web-after-rain/

11th class: A rewind

NB: This post was written two days ago



Today is the first day of my summer vacation. And no, I'm not feeling euphoric, joyful or excited. I think I'm feeling a bit lost.

I officially started in 11th class after the last board exam on the 31st of march. On one of the earlier exam days, I had made a trip to school to check out the list put up in front of our Principal's office. The list showed us the sections we would have in 11th class, based on results from the pre-boards (Science students were in A and B, commerce and humanities in C and D). As I ran a finger down the list, I'll admit I was a bit disappointed. Not only was I practically alone in taking Humanities (barring my friends Nil and Remya, I didn't know anyone taking Humanities), but my class had many kids to whom I'd hardly ever spoken. And to spend two years with them all...somehow I didn't feel confident at all. I had already known that most of my former class was taking Science and wouldn't be with me this time, but somehow seeing it in paper seemed to set an official seal on the fact.

My first week was not very cheery. As a Humanities student, I was constantly subject to the funny looks and questions that go with making an unconventional choice. "Ummm, so why have you taken Humanities?", " Why the hell didn't you take Science?!", "You'll have it easier than us", "Enjoy yourself...as if", "Dry stuff, why didn't you go for science?" , rolled eyes, confused looks with an "Oh, but I thought...you'll take science" on the side. I was fairly prepared for that, but I wasn't ready for the wave of self doubt that was to follow.

When I was a kid, in irritation with everyone around me telling me the benefits and popularity of the Science stream, I proclaimed that I would choose Humanities just to prove them all wrong. But there's a great difference between something you say as a kid and what you spend months on end deciding on. I had no intention of making my choice hastily or with incomplete information. I had done my research, but I found it difficult to choose because I liked all my subjects and was reluctant to give up one to pursue the other. And even after fixing my mind on one choice, I couldn't help thinking, rethinking, questioning and doubting that I was making the biggest mistake of my life (Yeah, I was getting a bit melodramatic with worry). Eventually of course, I decided that no matter how much I liked Science, I wouldn't score in it so there was no point. And I'd always enjoyed Humanities subjects. The way forward seemed clear, but a load of kids questioning your choice doesn't make the thing any easier.

My classmates and teachers were my redeeming points for the first few weeks (Check out my friend Remya's article here). I didn't get the Maths teacher I wanted to avoid so I was glad of that. And my Political Science and Geography ones were the same from last year so I was pretty happy. On the other hand, my English teacher was the one whom I'd felt blessed to be rid off the last year(Guess shadows come back to haunt you). Lastly, I had two economics teachers who were as different as possible. The lady was hot tempered and seemed to determined to trip us up with our limited knowledge. The other one (our principal) seemed confused but self satisfied and bored me to sleep with his every class.

As for my classmates, like I said, I hardly knew most of them. So I was pretty nervous that first day. I could almost feel them thinking, "Here's another padaku (studious)" (But then again, I was probably being paranoid) I didn't even know the names of many of them. Luckily, I found I was being a lot more communicative (I have no idea why) so I soon found out all their names at least.

I was still pretty sad the first week. Emotions ranged from self doubt to missing my former class. 11th felt like a huge step, a total change. One of the things that kept up my spirits at this time was regularly meeting with my old classmates. Hearing them complain about their teachers, timetables, classrooms and classmates had quite a calming effect and helped me not feel too isolated.

The next couple weeks were pretty unique. Slowly, I learned to adjust to the new surroundings and feel more comfortable. I learned to establish fresh connections while retaining my old ones. I was finally doing all the things I'd planned for 11th class. Reading new books, listening to new and old songs, blogging, chatting in school, calling friends on the telephone, watching new movies all helped me calm down and go with the flow.

The last few weeks were pretty exciting. I'd made many new friends in my class. Studies were getting more and more interesting. And there were loads of funny incidents in class too. The latest one was this: In geography class, someone decided to ask why tsunamis don't hit a particular area. On cross examination (I think our teacher decided to test how much he knew first), he said that they were caused by water pollution. On further questioning, he revealed that water pollution was caused by global warming. And this having only the faintest idea what global warming was. 20 mins of scolding and lecturing by our teacher and a week's worth of laughs. Priceless :)

We also had two competitions in school: Solo singing, and On-the-spot solo dancing. Originally, I wasn't going to participate in either of them. But on the mornings themselves, I impulsively decided otherwise. In the music competition, I was the last performer and I didn't have a background track. When I started out, my hands were shaking pretty badly. So badly in fact, that my whole mike was shaking, making a very annoying tik tik tik sound. The other mike was malfunctioning, so I sang my song, constantly thinking, "Damn. I sound like crap". In the dance competition, I picked up a song I didn't even remember. I have no idea what I did, but I was pretty sure I'd embarrassed myself permanently. Later, everyone I met complimented me for both (but it's only now I'm believing them; I was quite convinced to the contrary). Bless them.

In this last week, I began observing all the changes that had taken place. I've made plenty of new friends, the new students have settled in, I'm doing well with my teachers, I enjoy my subjects, I now feel more comfortable in my choice and I'm able to pursue many of my extra curricular pursuits. Looking back, I'm glad I gave myself time. Time to adjust, to accept and to enjoy. And now abruptly it's all over. A whole summer away from school.

Summer holidays are here.

Lost, bewildered, confused....what now???!!!

A whole summer of reading, writing, singing, listening, talking, studying and a chance to make the most of it that I can. A fresh blank page for me to write on. What more can I ask for?

Will there be memories worth treasuring?

P.S. Recent information says that the results for the tenth class CBSE board will be released in a few days. All I can say is, "Eeeeeeeeeeep!" 

Awards!

Today my blog received its first two awards:

So first of all....




Thanks Thousif!


Do drop by his post here to see the other winners at the Raza Awards :) Some pretty amazing blogs. I'm not going to be vain enough to repeat his words of praise, but either way, I was thrilled........


I'm also taking this opportunity to list another award I'd received. Thousif's awards are the first I've received since I started this blog, but I got another one before that. Here it is:

So,


Thanks Nil!


To both Thousif and Nil, a million thanks. You guys are both seriously inspirational and your motivation (especially yours Nil ;) ) was(is) really valuable. Appreciation from you really makes my day. I love you guys and your blogs are awesome! You and all the others who've commented on my blog have really helped me keep writing and enjoy it   :)
So now to continue the chain, I'm passing on the best follower award to:
















Vivarjitha!!!   Thanks for following my blog with such enthusiasm. Keep writing!









BTW, Have lots of posts planned and will start putting them up soon. And until then, to all my readers, thank you!

Achieving the impossible...

Many days ago, I read this story in the newspaper. This was a fictional story in a motivation article. A boy in school fell asleep in his maths class. When he woke up at the end of the class, he saw two problems written on the board. Thinking that they were for homework, he copied them down before going home. At home, he put his full efforts into solving the problems. They were hard, but he laboured throughout the night and managed to solve one. In the maths class, he showed it to his teacher. He was afraid he would be punished for not finishing his homework but as it turned out, his teacher was astonished. This was because the problem solved by the boy was actually (or should I say, was supposed to be) impossible. The moral of the story, of course, was that determination can achieve anything.

This got me thinking. It's all very well for the boy who fell asleep in class, but what about us? What if we were awake in that class and had heard the teacher say the problem was impossible? How would we solve the problem then?

In our lives, no matter what age we are, we all sometimes face problems that we think are impossible. Whether it's learning a new skill, solving a particular problem, changing ourselves (or others) for the better etc. We usually start by thinking that it will be difficult, but if we find we can't succeed after putting in some efforts, it might become easy for us to give up. We could decide that the task is impossible, or at least, impossible for us, and give it up. Or even if we do continue, it'll be with a sort of defeated attitude. If we wouldn't feel confident of our skills, it'll be easy to feel demoralised. So what do we do when we get into the mindset of "this is impossible!" ? What do we do if we've stayed awake in class and "know" a problem is impossible? Unless we have are super-powerful at forgetting things and are also determined to finish the task, it's likely to be hard for us. Now I'm in no way qualified to be a lifestyle coach or motivational guru, but if you're interested, here are my views:

1. Analyse - There's no way you're going to solve a problem if you're ignorant. Make sure you've gathered some information about your challenge; whether you actually LIKE what you're trying to do, whether you have the faintest clue of what to expect, whether you really want to commit yourself to try hard and so on.

2. Be rational - It's not likely you'll have to solve an impossible problem. If you've already analysed, you should have a fair idea of whether you want or have to do. Even if you have to solve something "impossible", try to be rational and not hysterical.

3. Be determined - If you really want to do something, most tasks should be easier than you think because half the battle is won. Self motivation is exactly what'll keep you going.

4. Forgive - Yourself, the situation, others, whoever you have to for your peace of mind. Relax.

5. Remember - You've done new stuff before, right? In fact, lots of the stuff you take for granted now was probably new to you at some point. As for a personal example, when a new session starts in school, I go through my books to see what I'll be studying the year. It looks really intimidating at first, but by the end of the year it feels like the back of my hand. You'll have different problems no doubt, but don't make the mistake of focusing only on the mistake you've made. Let the successes you've had do their job and buoy you up when you need it!

In the end, don't give up without giving your best ;)

Image : http://fatfinch.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/house_sparrow_m_i_img_7881.jpg

55 fiction

55 fiction is a contemporary form of fiction in which the author must limit himself or herself to 55 words. Here's my first attempt. Do tell me what you think!

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I opened my eyes blearily.

Bright light, noise, movements, screaming...Where was I?

Where had I come from?

Colours and shapes, jumbled up…

Shoved and pushed, I wanted to return to the warm, comfortable darkness. Oh, what was my crime?

And then I heard a voice,

"Get up sleepyhead. It's time for school"

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Clouds - a poem

I wrote this poem a long time ago when a teacher asked me to write something for the school newsletter. It didn't get in eventually, but I still remember it. Let me know what you think.

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Clouds

Why do clouds exist ?

Some days when I have time

I look out of windows in search of a rhyme

I now see the clouds and wonder why

Is it that they so coolly pass us by?

Though I had to cudgel my brains to find explanations,

Here they are listed for your convenience

But before you read them, know this:

Science was not considered while making this list

I thought this was a more interesting way to pass my time

So please don’t consider this omission a crime

(Well here goes: )

First, when clouds pass by

and hide the sky

Do they say that heaven’s bright light must

Always be hidden from us?

Second, do they mock us as they go

That there will always be something we don’t know?

Do they warn us, when life seems to have paused

That we must stop grieving because

Life will go on?

Do clouds with their never-ending patterns and shapes

Show us the beauty of nature and the things she makes?

Do clouds try to show us with their changing form

That life, while moving, should be changing along ?

(Also that adaptability,

Is a useful ability)

While I would like to write more,

I must restrict the length

Because this poem is the for the newsletter,

and not something I meant

to do. So thank you clouds for helping me when

I needed inspiration and picked up my pen!

 - Charu