Saturday, September 24, 2011

The gift of a day

Isn't it amazing how much there is to a single day? Just one day makes or breaks nations. Just one day empowers or destroys lives.

I went to Select Citywalk mall yesterday evening. Before leaving, I took a few minutes to sit near the fountain. I was fascinated by the moving water. Part of it was rising and falling again (like fountains do) and there were some mini waterfalls behind it.

I tried capturing it with my camera. I even thought to myself, "Oh sit still for a moment. I don't want a blur in the photo. I want to catch that unique pattern you're making just now". And immediately I felt as if the water was replying back. It said, "Stop? But it was my lovely movement that pulled you here right? Wouldn't it be boring if I stopped? No new bubbles and waves and eddies and foam?"

I thought about that as I clicked. Then an idea came to mind. That flowing water is a metaphor for life. We are ever in movement, typically unaware of that which makes us beautiful. And that movement is something that is everlasting. So why do we keep trying to stop and impress the camera, that is, impress the other people in our life? Wouldn't it be better to try and be like that water and move freely, happily and joyfully?

When I got up today morning (nice and late after ignoring my alarm) I felt happy. I remember thinking, after a long time, "Wow, a whole new day and it's just beginning". It was like just seeing the sunlight streaming in through the window made a bubble full of happiness burst in my heart.

New ideas came to mind "For many days I've gotten up worried about something or the other. I've woken up thinking either that it was another useless, boring day which had no purpose or on the other hand, how XYZ important task would get done. You know, every time I spend my day thinking about one particular thing, it just colours and affects everything I do. The whole outcome of my 24 hours begins to depend on the outcome of that one work, which was probably just a tiny part in the scheme of my entire life. I lost sight, like some say, of the big picture. I remember wondering how some people can go ahead happily with their day even when something goes wrong. This must be it. They must be able to detach themselves from the small things and remember that they still have a whole day, a whole, big day!

Think about it positively. A day is another opportunity to move closer to your dreams and goals, another chance to feel love and trust for your loved ones, another chance to learn something new, another chance to learn from a mistake, another chance to discover yourself, another chance to appreciate beauty, another chance to feel peace and contentment, another chance to help someone who needs it, another chance to do something that gives us happiness, another chance to smile and giggle and another chance to celebrate life while we still have it. But it as all just a chance, not a certainty, something that we alone can take at its word and give full strength. Think how much we gain from a more detached perspective - a calm head, a heart with hope safe inside and a chance that we can still feel happy at the end of the day. We are not the tasks. Tasks are just things we do. And believe me, the more mistakes we make, the more we learn. And lots of times, we may be pulling on stress for all sorts of small things. Step back and discover the power of me and the power of a single day."

And then I remembered a poem I'd read in my english coursebook, A Thing of Beauty, by John Keats. Just thinking about it made me feel happier. So I decided to put down these thoughts on my blog. And then I began worrying, "What if I don't express myself well? Think of the consequences! What if I forget all these nice thoughts and feelings when I sit down to write? Then what will be the use? What if I'm just being crazy and nobody cares?" And at this point I stopped myself. By writing about this, I'm trying to capture a moment, a feeling. Even if I don't capture it "perfectly" (an indefinable concept at that) what's the worst that would happen? If I keep myself open to it,  I would learn what I need to know, whatever it may be. And the moment would keep shining like a beautiful dewdrop in my memory.

 They (the days) come and go like muffled and veiled figures sent from a distant family party; but they say nothing, and if we do not use the gifts they bring, they carry them silently away - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Smile, think and use every day well dear readers :)

Saturday, September 17, 2011

A poem - Dying and living everyday

I wrote this poem a few weeks back. What do you think?

Dying and Living Everyday

My eyes close, my breath slows
My hands fall, my legs stop.
It is all too much, the world's demands.
Do unadulterated feelings find no place?
I carry a hidden weight
Of my own and the world's problems
Which seems to grow with my knowledge
And my realization that the world has taught me want.
Beautiful, glazed posters taped above my desk
Teaching my heart to forget its dreams
As if they have already been realized.
To focus on the small, daily things of life.
When I am taught to want what the world seems to want
Who am I but a lonely drop in the ocean?
There is pattern, order and structure around me
But I don't feel freedom.
There is something unnatural in the things I do
When the world teaches me to act, to get what I want
Where shall quiet thinking and natural action find place?
But it is difficult to write such things.
It is difficult to reach my heart
When it is buried under the layers
The world says it needs.

               - Charu

What do we live for?

I got the pic here

Monday, September 12, 2011

Happiness...and being too busy *sigh*

When I've been absent from my own blog for almost a month, I do owe my readers an apology. Sorry! But honestly, life in 12th has really taught me what "busy" means. It's also taught me to respect words like "huge" and "guilty" especially when I apply those words to my current syllabus for the half yearly exams ;)

But moving on...

I remember this day about a month back. A day when I felt really, completely happy. The week before I had been tense about my exams (and in retrospect, I would have done better to study stress free than just worry). But for some reason, I decided to give myself an off that day - a real off, like I hadn't had in a long time. A day in which I could just lie down and daydream, a day in which I could roam and watch TV with abandon. I remember I'd dreamed of a harbour the night before. And to me, that meant that I wanted to explore something new, and I did. After a very long time, I slept without setting an alarm.

For one day, I did what I liked and I didn't judge myself. Right, didn't matter, I wasn't a bad person. I didn't need to breathe down my own neck (figuratively) making sure I toed the line of some ridiculous fuzzy fantasy in my mind - the kind that's defined more by what it's not than by what it is. And a standard that opens me, the one living the real life, to a lot of criticism.

There was something different that day. I felt grateful for all I had - air, food, water, home, an education, parents and so much more that I take for granted in the everyday. I have everything I need. That evening, watching Christmas Carol, I felt so, so happy. I even wrote a poem just to release some of it :

When my soul can sing of the joys of love
And my heart can dance to the music of that soul.
When my lips speak poetry
And my mind soars on wings.
When the tiniest thing means a lot more
And love, generosity and kindness come naturally.
When a pure joy brims forth
And an inexpressible contentment colours our tone.
When beauty can be easily seen
And happiness longs to be shared.
When trust and faith rest unhurried to build a home
And bright eyes and open arms give freedom.
When homeliness and ordinariness bring emotions to our eyes
And we thank the world for its gifts.
When a soft new flame, stronger than fire, is kindled
And its life and radiance can feel no end.

Old fashioned maybe. But what about your special, happy moments? How did they feel? Share it in the comments...or just write your thoughts on mine!

And keep smiling this week!...

I go the pic here