But moving on...
I remember this day about a month back. A day when I felt really, completely happy. The week before I had been tense about my exams (and in retrospect, I would have done better to study stress free than just worry). But for some reason, I decided to give myself an off that day - a real off, like I hadn't had in a long time. A day in which I could just lie down and daydream, a day in which I could roam and watch TV with abandon. I remember I'd dreamed of a harbour the night before. And to me, that meant that I wanted to explore something new, and I did. After a very long time, I slept without setting an alarm.
For one day, I did what I liked and I didn't judge myself. Right, wrong...it didn't matter, I wasn't a bad person. I didn't need to breathe down my own neck (figuratively) making sure I toed the line of some ridiculous fuzzy fantasy in my mind - the kind that's defined more by what it's not than by what it is. And a standard that opens me, the one living the real life, to a lot of criticism.
There was something different that day. I felt grateful for all I had - air, food, water, home, an education, parents and so much more that I take for granted in the everyday. I have everything I need. That evening, watching Christmas Carol, I felt so, so happy. I even wrote a poem just to release some of it :
When my soul can sing of the joys of love
And my heart can dance to the music of that soul.
When my lips speak poetry
And my mind soars on wings.
When the tiniest thing means a lot more
And love, generosity and kindness come naturally.
When a pure joy brims forth
And an inexpressible contentment colours our tone.
When beauty can be easily seen
And happiness longs to be shared.
When trust and faith rest unhurried to build a home
And bright eyes and open arms give freedom.
When homeliness and ordinariness bring emotions to our eyes
And we thank the world for its gifts.
When a soft new flame, stronger than fire, is kindled
And its life and radiance can feel no end.
Old fashioned maybe. But what about your special, happy moments? How did they feel? Share it in the comments...or just write your thoughts on mine!
And keep smiling this week!...
I go the pic here