Sunday, February 7, 2010

The Wall

There's this wall at my house
And I've known it for so long
I've glanced, looked and stared at it
I've contemplated, meditated and philosophisized
I've laughed, cried and soliloquised
I've sprayed it with water and shown my artistic flair
But through thick and thin, it has always been there
Ever since I was a kid, I've known that wall
During the day it hangs out with the washing
And stands in the sunshine with the flowerpots
But at night it's bathed in moonlight
Over the years, I've seen it less and less
But I still remember that smiley face I drew on it
The face is hidden now, but it lingers in that air
It reminds me of who I used to be a long time ago
The kid I once was, was perfect
She was happy, free and true
She was simple, loving and had faith
She was as much for others as they were for her
No grades or gifts could light up her face the way the stars did
But as the years passed, she put on spectacles
Light now refracted before it reached her
and things no longer seemed the same
So today when she stands in front of that wall
Every day was a new lesson learnt, and each started a new journey
She's not the best and never will be
But I still want to keep moving on
Because no matter what I paint on that wall
The smiley face drawn by me
will remind me of who I used to be.

- Charu


Anonymous said...

That was so amazing Charu.
So beautiful, and somehow, I could hear a note of melancholy there. And I was sad..sad that I could never realize that the situation was that bad.
Some of the lines were so amazing,
"Light now refracted before it reached her" the ending was perfect..
I adore this!
Keep writing..Please do!
Take care :)

Charu said...

Wow, Remya. It feels so awesome to-well we've had that conversation already. I really appreciate this, thanks.
Promise I won't stop writing :)

nil said...

Just wow.

After I finished reading this,trust me Charu,I felt over whelmed the the beauty of your words, I spontaneously grabbed my phone and tried calling you.. But I guess you're busy.
So,I just want you to know,that there lies a writer inside you that the world is striving to find. And I think,finally,the world has been able to find it.
I can never compare your poem to any famous writer/artist/whatever. Cause that poem cannot be compared,it's priceless.
Its the best you've written,and I am proud to tell you that I'm a fan of your's.
Bless you and your thoughts,
all my love,

Charu said...

@Nil: Now I'm overwhelmed with all the praise. You took care of that with the phone call. I never thought I'd have my own fan, I’m extremely flattered.
I could gush on about this for hours, but I really hope you know what your praise means to me. It's so wonderful to know I'm surrounded by people to whom appreciation and encouragement comes easily - two qualities I really...admire. I promise you, whatever is that high pedestal you’re putting me on (I think that, no matter how much I try, I can never accurately gauge YOUR feelings), you’ll be there yourself someday: You just won’t know it.

@Remya and Nil: I’d like to be honest guys. I wasn't feeling melancholic when I wrote the poem. In fact, I was feeling quite happy that I was finally going to write on schedule about something I wanted to write (you see, I’m trying to build up a regular writing schedule and the idea of writing about the wall came to me a long time ago. The idea about who I used to be also came a long time ago). But then, since you guys feel it so strongly, it’s possible that there were subconscious feelings inside. I’m just glad I could bring so many things in a successful culmination.

@Remya and Nil, again: I don’t how I can really express this properly, but still: I’ve doubted my writing and myself many times. I’ve even said to myself that writing isn't “my thing” and it’s something I should develop. But this poem made me so happy when I finished, it seemed “right”. And now when I hear your and others opinions, it really makes my happiness complete, that I can stir others’ emotions and please them so much. It just feels wonderful, and it really gives me the confidence that no matter how many highs and lows, a real writer is waiting inside. I hope I’ll always deserve this.

Charu said...

@Nil and Remya: Forgive this ridiculously long reply (wait, I'm on my own blog, what am I doing?!) I thought I should add, originally I thought this poem was a bit of an exaggeration. I even thought of writing at the end "I'm not sure who I kept in mind while writing this poem, me or someone else. So let's just assume it's for someone like me". But then I realised that this poem was actually more of a gentle reminder to myself: To never forget the smiley faces I used to draw.
Don't know what you'll make of this, but thought I should let you know.

Anonymous said...

No problem :)

Thousif Raza said...

i had come by earlier... when you wrote the first post... but couldn't comment... now i can... feels nice... that poem is honest and i like it... nice :)

take care and keep writing..........

nil said...

Most welcome,darling :)

Charu said...

@Thousif: Thanks ! Will keep writing!