Life is..so not fun

I'm not sure how to start, so I'll go with this:

Packing and then unpacking 5 days worth of student trip material is NOT fun

Because it means that the trip you've been anticipating for months has been postponed. Again.

Or at least, that's what it meant for me. And my hapless friends and classmates.

Oh wait, I just swatted a poor fly in my annoyance. Sorry fly :(

Instead of being with a busload of excited kids en route to Udaipur, I had to sit in Maths tuition, studying Matrices. Boo!

And add to all that, 12th starts day after tomorrow.

And of course, the universal outpouring of advice had already started. I'm not even going to get into it.

Sheesh. I'm pretty sure I didn't deserve this right after exams finished.

And I've been trying to psyche myself lately into a "be positive" attitude. As if it wasn't already under enough strain after my marksheets came out, now my trip's been cancelled. 

Sorry, I'm totally whining too much, aren't I? Let me try changing the topic.

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Nada. With that big pile of books on my desk, all I can think about is twelfth grade. 15 books for about 6 months. After studying this, I think anyone, no matter how much he scores, should be called a genius. I've never admired my ex-seniors more. And I've never felt worse for myself either. Gulp. It's going to be a looooonnnggg year. And it'll be my last one in school too. Boards, again! Why, oh why??????? 

Something random I came across: Dost, Dost na raha. Kyonki ab kitabein hi dost ban jayenge.

I hope my mind doesn't cage itself while I'm trying to free it. ugh.

Wish me luck people...

Oh and yes, to leave my readers feeling better, 

 Happy Holi Everyone!

May this truly be a good year for all of us :)

Image from: http://ucdavismagazine.ucdavis.edu/issues/su07/future_power.html

And I'm back! After exams...

Yes, I really am *gasp*. Now that the finals are over. Seriously, to learn the value of normal life, live a day through the exams.

And the funny thing is, now I have a strong urge to study. Probably because it doesn't matter any more :D

12th starting early (no one warned us about this), the postponed school trip to Udaipur being decided all in a hurry, tuitions starting day after tomorrow (cruelty I think) and many more unknowns. The future sounds...exciting. Let's hope it is while we check out the recent past: 5 papers, spread out over 15 days.

In fact, the common exam story ran something like this for most of us:

a) Complaining about how much time had been given to prepare; either it was too much or it was too little

b) Joking about every random thing just to avoid studying

c) Trying to trick ourselves into studying with motivation, threats, incentives or even "external forces"

d) Depending on which method worked, grudgingly sitting down at a desk, bed, sofa or cushion with a book.

e) Putting all available resources of student will power into not drifting off into sleep or other, more entertaining things (which would include just about anything else at the moment)

f) Arriving at the exam hall on the morning feeling unprepared (hats off to the ones who didn't feel such) and now exerting all student willpower not to think about how badly we're going to flunk. With fear, prayers and unfounded optimism we enter the exam hall.

g) And here we transform. Most students go from being happy, carefree people to furious writing machines. Students become professional exam writers under the actual influence of the exam room and invigilator. The otherwise-very-normal desks and chairs themselves change in our eyes. Once again, the time allotted is usually either too much or too little. And this time is punctuated with random interruptions from invigilation teacher replacements, arrival of subject teachers to answer doubts, student-teacher battles over the time left, random requests for pens and paraphernalia etc.(it could be anything really)

h) Out of the examination room, it's a new feeling. It could be euphoria at that "dumb easy paper" or irritation at the "dumb difficult paper". Students, divided by class, are united by subject to critically examine every aspect of their paper. And this big group, resigned, happy, tired or however they're feeling, head home to prepare for the next one.

As for me, exams were OK I guess. Not my best work, but hey, it's not 12th yet. Besides, I was suddenly bored of studying, so I didn't revise before as well as I should have. So, not excusing myself here, but just hoping it didn't go too badly. Papers are out on the 18th and results on the 22nd.

Papers were good otherwise, especially Economics today which seemed like a gift. No bets on how well I've done, but it was fun seeing the questions. Other papers were fine and I'm sure that despite their dark predictions, most children will pass.

I neglected a lot though: living and learning about life rather than just focusing on a part of it, actually relaxing instead of being lazy, reading, writing, writing blog posts and me

Will report my ongoing successes on these and any new stories. In the meantime, thanks again for being the most awesome readers ever!

Forget development experiences of China and conic sections, they're only a PART  of life.

Though I admit, life does seem to become a particular subject around exam time ;)


Best of luck to anyone having exams in the near future :)




Image from: http://msumusichistory.pbworks.com/f/1267284271/1267284271/1267284271/1267284271/1267284271/image%20of%20book%20for%20grad%20exams.jpg

Things as they are

Finals coming up, projects to submit, a competition unprepared for, tuition tests, vivas and practicals to worry for...Sigh, life sure is peaceful. Especially for a person like me. Every moment not doing something "productive" brings a little guilt. Regular, time-pass activities feel criminal and homework seems everlasting. Only twenty days to go for exams.

Interesting event of today:

We were discussing the definition of statistics and our teacher was dictating answers. I had on my desk two notebooks. Every one of her pauses was a frantic rush to write as much as possible about the development experiences of India, China and Pakistan. And my juggling of notebooks was going on at the very front desk. 


I'm writing this just as I returned from tuition. I've been feeling pretty stressed lately just brooding. That's when I noticed

Two birds gliding very, very high up, as if they consider themselves above trivial matters like exams.

Some leaves waving in the wind as if, despite being girt by pollution, they'd not forgotten to enjoy life.

The sun shining bright  and supporting life as it always does, though things have changed dramatically in the millions of years he's been shining.

The sunlight itself, shining constantly, never losing enthusiasm.

Two kitten playing on the road reminding me that I am ,after all, a kid who should have fun..

Trust nature to perk me up just a little bit.


We had the farewell in school on Saturday. Considering the standards of our school, I was impressed. Every girl (except me, welcome inferiority complex) looked great. Boys may have been trapped with the standard jeans-and-kurta or suit, but there was a blaze of colour everywhere as far as the girls were concerned. The DJ and the food was good and our basketball court suddenly became an excellent dance floor. It didn't matter is we didn't know our seniors and cameras were everywhere. But then, we were eventually kicked out of school to give the seniors their "sentimental" moment.


Bye, readers! I'll drop another update when I can.

It's not so cold now, but I've been saving this cute pic for a while :)

Image from: Lifehacker.com 

Not much to say :(

Dear readers, I'm sorry. My writing gene seems to have shrivelled up and gone on holiday lately. Though I'm penning down any ideas as they come, the drive and will to write them out is missing. Call it laziness, being overworked or writer's block, it'll be a while before I can pen you something fresh. So for now, here's a poem I'd written earlier on the topic of Nuclear weapons. Could I have some feedback?

                                            Hear the call to be free

My life was a dream I didn’t appreciate

With beauty, life and happiness I didn’t create

Without asking, I had been granted

That the sun was shining and the trees had been planted.

Then what went wrong, what was my crime?

That the rivers dried up and were coated in grime

That the sun felt cold and the birds wouldn’t sing

That we no longer knew the joy a home could bring.

Life was a struggle and there was daily pain

Toiling for answers in the hot sun left us drained

The places I had known my entire life

Were all sacrificed for someone’s else’s strife

But it was not only buildings that were ground into dust

We lost our hopes, our dreams and our trust

Oft repeated as that is, things will never be the same

Especially when people close to you have gone blind or deaf or lame

Life and love were torn away

Many journeys and meetings went astray

Fresh rain can’t wash away the dirt left behind

New grass can’t make us forget the sadness, the hurt in our minds

Our live are diseased, polluted forever

Even now when we’re older, matured and clever

Questions we can’t answer and the nightmares of our youth

Still haunt us today despite others’ ruth

Consider this please, consider the cost

Consider what all will be lost

The people, the conditions, the things you value will be gone

And then you’ll have to start again and move on

Stop this destruction from ruining your days

Say no to nuclear weapons and make others change their ways

Remember, only differences in thinking shouldn’t cause it all

When all it takes is to hear the call.


                                      -  Charu

I've been pretty busy handling republic day celebrations, sports day, homework and self reproach. I'm trying to catch up on reading and actual studying. And there's like a hundred different things running through my mind at the same time, so things in my life are a little strained.

Most interesting event lately: Being reminded over and over that I'll soon be in 12th a.k.a. board year. Boo!

Yeah, I'm not even feeling at ease. Emotions have been running high this last week with anger, self-annoyance and some moments of happiness. But now that the weekend is here, I'm feeling much better. Finally I'll be able to do some actual study, the reason for which I go to school. And I'll get to face to projects which count in my finals. And my eyes feel sore already.

Wish me luck in the new week. And the same to all my readers too :)


Image from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Operation_Upshot-Knothole_-_Badger_001.jpg

It was cold !

A lot's been happening between my last post and this one. Books, music, movies and commitments have had my brain in a whirl. And looking back, these holidays have been exciting.


I visited the British Council Library at CP for the first time (had some absolutely heavenly aloo chaat outside it too!) and visited the Delhi Book Fair on the same day. I wandered around all day with wide eyes and untiring feet and ended up buying...nothing (classic move). Celebrated the new year with cake. Did some *gasp* study. Spent some free time in the school library near my house. Did some shopping. Read plenty of blog posts, with or without commenting. Worked a lot on the computer. Lazed around at home. That about covers the main stuff and today's the last day of my winter vacations. Tomorrow I have an Economics exam I feel unprepared for. But I am excited that school is FINALLY starting again. 


The main discussion topic everywhere was the winter chill. The sun seemed to be going on hibernation now and then. It was very windy most of the time and it still is a little cold inside the house and out. No one felt like coming out of the blankets in the morning and my 6:30 wakeup time went straight to 8:30 (And yes, I know even that is considered early by most students). The sun set early and wherever the heater was became a second home for most people. 


I haven't written much during the vacations. I'd fallen into the trap of over thinking the process of writing. I'll have to work on getting back to it somehow. But in the meantime, I would like to share this poem I came across. Hope you like it!

How to leave the world that worships should 

Let faxes butter-curl on dusty shelves.
Let junkmail build its castles in the hush
of other people’s halls. Let deadlines burst
and flash like glorious fireworks somewhere else.
As hours go softly by, let others curse
the roads where distant drivers queue like sheep.
Let e-mails fly like panicked, tiny birds.
Let phones, unanswered, ring themselves to sleep.

Above, the sky unrolls its telegram,
immense and wordless, simply understood:
you’ve made your mark like birdtracks in the sand -
now make the air in your lungs your livelihood.
See how each wave arrives at last to heave
itself upon the beach and vanish. Breathe.

Seaside Sonnets by Ros Barber

Nice, isn't it? And as a little bit of trivia, this is iambic pentameter, kind of like what Shakespeare wrote :)


In other news, I'm planning to revive and finally finish my ten part series on working for the environment. But I know that if the posts aren't regular, it won't be as much fun. So this time, I'll write the remaining 5 parts first, and then post them one after another. I'll also change the format by adding some links, videos, audio etc. to make it more interesting. 

Nothing much else to share, so I'll stop here. Better go and revise for my exam tomorrow

What will this year bring?

Wish you loads of laughter and happiness in this new year :)
 Charu




Image taken from : http://dailyrevolution.com/?p=656