Sunday, July 29, 2012

I return; wiser in some ways, more foolish in others

I've been imitated so well I've heard people copy my mistakes.

- Jimi Hendrix

It's been a long, long, long, long time since I wrote on my blog. Apologies to all my friends whose posts I've missed out on and apologies to all those who were hoping to see posts from me (thanks for hoping). I'm not dead, merely in a sabbatical.

Most of you might know that the boards and their results are old news. It's been a week since college session started in Delhi University, where I secured a seat. Sadly though, I wasted a lot of time regretting not having studied harder for the boards and not getting a better college (hence no post for so long. I had to force myself to write this one).

But I won't write more about that. The exciting part was visiting a number of the prominent DU colleges to try my luck in the extra curricular activities' trials. My sports abilities are average, so I gave it my best shot in debating. None of them worked out, but it was fun visiting the campuses and chatting with the other hopefuls.

In these months, I spent a lot of time worrying about the future, but I also spent a little time exploring. I spent a delightful day visiting Hauz khas village and the Fort. Luckily, the day I went, there was no more than weak sunshine at intervals and it was fresh and breezy. It was a real treat walking around the HUGE lake, clicking pictures and watching all the squirrels and ducks in the surrounding park.

But now before anyone asks, college has been nice too. Of course, the first few days everyone made sure to dress well (but it's loosened up now). I've made some friends. I like the clean, green, unpolluted campus and the three-storey library.

But I have to admit, going back to regular studies again, especially with every teacher sternly repeating that this is "College and not school", is a little jarring. The syllabus seems simple but the teachers teach it as if it's a jack-in-the-box and some horrific thing is going to pop out soon. The syllabus is the least of anyone's concerns however, when everyone is still making friends and griping about the weather. We're all really hoping that time speeds up so we can reach and experience the "fun" things that college is supposed to be about.

I've had free time, so I used some of it to join Facebook. Understandably, my friends were shocked :P But I still miss them. What I wouldn't give to have one more full school day with my old teachers and everyone in uniform? *sigh*
I also drew up a list of things for me to complete by the end of the year which consists of absolutely unrelated things like "Draw 5 drawings/paintings" and "Meditate on 30 days". It's hard for me to settle on doing one thing for a long time, hence the varied to-dos to keep me busy when I'm alone.

And of course, there's the staple: I watched movies (The King's speech is marvellous) and read books.

I've had a little too much time for self reflection. Am still working on ways to forgive myself. And also on really accepting that other people are different, and have a right to be. I haven't dealt with all my dealt with all my bad habits. I haven't achieved all the things I dreamed of. I haven't stopped being afraid of making mistakes. I'm not yet free from every worry that weighs me down.

OH wait, and there's still the matter of discovering my identity.

There are a lot of hopes riding on college. So here's a fresher signing off!

- Charu

Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it.

-Lucy Maud Montgomery


nil said...

Charu, babe- this is me telling you- you're going to ROCK college, okay? In every sense!

Charu said...

As long as friends like you are with me, how can I fail? *big smile*