A little something...

Let me start at the beginning.

Two weeks ago, my UPS started acting funny.

When I switched it on one evening, its light turned red and it began beeping. 

I turned it off and tried again. Same result.

I tried the next day. Once again, same result.

Another day passed, and I called someone to check it up.

Apparently my faithful UPS had a drained battery. It was dead. 

So for the last week, I worked with the constant fear that the power would go before I could switch the computer off myself and I would lose what I was working on. 

But the real problem was yet to reveal itself. 

The man who had come to disconnect the UPS had also disconnected my speakers.

So for the past week, I've been working without speakers.

It was then, of course, that I realised how much I use them and depend on then.

And it was then, of course, that almost everything I had to do seemed to NECESSARILY need speakers.

Email attachments - "Check out this great pps. Remember to turn up the volume"

Websites - "Turn up the volume"

Music - What's the use of a music streaming site without speakers???

Internet countdowns - I use them sometimes when I'm working on the computer. Now, I couldn't hear them blaring at me!

Youtube - Listening to relaxing music was no longer as relaxing

I almost missed the error messages

Just yesterday evening, I remembered another situation, about a month ago, in my summer holidays. I'd been stung by a bee or wasp of some kind. For about 4 days, my right index finger was swollen, painful and unable to move. I couldn't write, type, do up my laces, brush comfortably and a whole host of other things that I was used to doing without any problem. 

For a time, I was stuck without being to do much besides watch TV or read. 


For some reason, I remembered some stories I had read in a Chicken Soup about people who were physically challenged had overcome all odds. I began marvelling at them. Imagine being unable to do something everyone else can, while feeling that the whole world is against you. Imagine seeing everyone around you easily doing all the things you can only struggle with. Imagine knowing that its something you'll have to live with. Imagine the dissatisfaction, the frustration and the helplessness. 


I'm not saying all this to victimise those who are challenged, but I think we should all marvel at strength some of them have. While we face troubles ranging from aches, pains, sprains, cuts, bruises and all such things, they face something very different. Only a week of working without speakers made me feel how much I was missing. I practically felt cheated, as if the universe was trying to taunt me. My speakers will be fixed soon someday, but what about them? Who knows if help for them will be so easily available or even possible?  And yet, we see miracles everyday; not only from the challenged but from various people facing different crises. I don't quite know how to express it, but it was quite an eye opener to realise that it might not be the big things, but it's certainly the small things that irk the most. This means that its those who deal with these (for us) small things without losing heart are certainly to be admired.

"I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble." - Hellen Keller

Oh and I'm extremely sorry I haven't posted for so long. I was procrastinating on blogging for a while. I was also  starting all sorts of things like diary writing in my spare time. Will try harder from now on.

Some insights

By way of a blog post, I'd like to share a few insights I've gained in the last few months. Hope you'll find them as interesting as I did.

I gained this first insight when I was brushing one morning. I was looking at my face in the mirror and remembering myself when I was younger. I've been wearing spectacles for many years and this fact always used to irritate me. Somehow I always felt that I looked better without them and I wished I didn't have to wear them (Yes, I knew I could switch to contacts later, but still). But as I grew older, I became more peaceable with the fact and accepted it. A few months ago, I'd switched to a new pair of frames after having worn the same one for many years.( I'd made this choice on the basis of the shopkeeper's opinion that it looked a lot better and thinking that it was time I changed. It's only now that I'm somewhat convinced.) I began thinking about various solutions one might try to solve this problem of not liking specs (besides the obvious contacts and laser surgery) and I came up with: better frames, better hairstyle, better clothes, better attitude.
And then it struck me: I was targeting the wrong problem. My problem was not how to make spectacles look good. My problem was my bad eyesight. By targeting the wrong problem, I'd wasted many years worrying about a problem I really could not solve. It made me wonder how many other problems I was fruitlessly trying to solve.

I gained the second insight while reading a motivation piece in the paper. It described how, when we have problems, we appeal to God asking "Why me?". At this point I myself thought about how we sometimes let ourself feel victimised and defeated. On further reading, the piece asked why it is that when we feel fortunate and blessed we do not then ask "Why me?". I thought about how fortunate some of us are compared to others. How often do we ask God if we deserve it or why we should be so fortunate? Compared the enormous griefs which some people undergo in their lives, most of us don't even ask if we deserve all we already have or be grateful for it. I think the lesson is to put as bold face to problems as we can instead to questioning as if we are the only ones with problems.

This third insight is not really an insight per se, but a comment I found while surfing. The comment was on  this page of a blog called Lifehacker. It was on a post about to do lists, especially web based ones.  Here it is:

Pen and paper reminds me of the advantages of the good old red diary.
Crash-proof (I have never had a corrupted database with a red diary), rugged (you can dropkick them), water-resistant (within reason - don't dunk your diary), excellent data retention (they have good binding), intuitive UI (just write), self-powered (no batteries required; it just needs light to work), with handwriting recognition (if you can read your chicken-scratch) and the ability to permanently delete an entire day with a single motion (rip out the page).
Sometimes, low-tech is the best tech.

What do you think?

---------------------------------

I've received another award! This is the Cherry on top award from Vivarjitha.

The rules are:

1. Thank the person who gave this award to you 

Thanks Vivarjitha!!!

2. Copy the award and put it on your blog. - done

3. List three things which you love about yourself.

Hmm...I'm not sure. Let's see

1. I have a huge wonderful family. So I love the fact that I'm so lucky ;)
2. I love the fact that I like many, many activities and want to try many more
3. I love the fact that I can stand back from things and observe them

4. Post a picture you love.

This little guy gave me loads of trouble when I was trying to click him  :)  :)

5. Tag 5 people you wish to pass this award on to.

As it turns out, almost all the people I would like to give this award to already have it so I'm passing it on to:

Vintage obsession

&

Writing Revived 

Congrats guys!

My vacations end on the 1st of July. Hope everyone's having a good summer so far :)

My summer holidays

The weather feels wonderful today , so I thought I'd post a little update.

First, I'll mention the board results. My CGPA is *drumroll*.......9.2. Despite the fact that MANY students got more than I did, the amount of congratulations I've received was frankly surprising. Still, not complaining. I did better than I expected in some subjects and worse in others, so overall I feel sort of mixed.

My first action as a vacationer was to fulfil my quota of complaining. Luckily, there weren't many power cuts, but the heat and lack of rain made up for it all *sigh*. Besides, I also complained that I would get bored in the holidays. I'd already had holidays before the boards, for almost two months. So here was another huge block of time to waste and regret later. Well, I thought, that's exactly what I'm not going to do. So I started the holidays in  a determined frame of mind: list of daily tasks, weekly goals and a constant stream of new material (books, music and movies). I started off with "7 habits of highly effective teens" by Sean Covey (A very good book, which I would definitely recommend to everyone). I'd made lots of plans for the holidays: new things to learn, new habits to implement, new changes to make and tasks to complete.

I started with my holiday homework straight away and as it turns out, it was a good thing I did, because this way I've been able to manage everything so far in stages. There's still quite a bit to do, but I'm sure I can finish well.

In the meantime, I've been able to visit family members and new places. I've also visited my school twice and met with my teachers. I'm also learning the piano though lessons on the internet.

Well, in essentials, that's about it. But don't worry, I'll be putting up a couple of poems about some of the different moments of my vacation so far. I hope you'll like them, but until then, hope you're having a wonderful summer!

                                                    I just liked the picture :)














Image from: http://www.eglobe1.com/index.php/2006/11/12/spider-web-after-rain/

11th class: A rewind

NB: This post was written two days ago



Today is the first day of my summer vacation. And no, I'm not feeling euphoric, joyful or excited. I think I'm feeling a bit lost.

I officially started in 11th class after the last board exam on the 31st of march. On one of the earlier exam days, I had made a trip to school to check out the list put up in front of our Principal's office. The list showed us the sections we would have in 11th class, based on results from the pre-boards (Science students were in A and B, commerce and humanities in C and D). As I ran a finger down the list, I'll admit I was a bit disappointed. Not only was I practically alone in taking Humanities (barring my friends Nil and Remya, I didn't know anyone taking Humanities), but my class had many kids to whom I'd hardly ever spoken. And to spend two years with them all...somehow I didn't feel confident at all. I had already known that most of my former class was taking Science and wouldn't be with me this time, but somehow seeing it in paper seemed to set an official seal on the fact.

My first week was not very cheery. As a Humanities student, I was constantly subject to the funny looks and questions that go with making an unconventional choice. "Ummm, so why have you taken Humanities?", " Why the hell didn't you take Science?!", "You'll have it easier than us", "Enjoy yourself...as if", "Dry stuff, why didn't you go for science?" , rolled eyes, confused looks with an "Oh, but I thought...you'll take science" on the side. I was fairly prepared for that, but I wasn't ready for the wave of self doubt that was to follow.

When I was a kid, in irritation with everyone around me telling me the benefits and popularity of the Science stream, I proclaimed that I would choose Humanities just to prove them all wrong. But there's a great difference between something you say as a kid and what you spend months on end deciding on. I had no intention of making my choice hastily or with incomplete information. I had done my research, but I found it difficult to choose because I liked all my subjects and was reluctant to give up one to pursue the other. And even after fixing my mind on one choice, I couldn't help thinking, rethinking, questioning and doubting that I was making the biggest mistake of my life (Yeah, I was getting a bit melodramatic with worry). Eventually of course, I decided that no matter how much I liked Science, I wouldn't score in it so there was no point. And I'd always enjoyed Humanities subjects. The way forward seemed clear, but a load of kids questioning your choice doesn't make the thing any easier.

My classmates and teachers were my redeeming points for the first few weeks (Check out my friend Remya's article here). I didn't get the Maths teacher I wanted to avoid so I was glad of that. And my Political Science and Geography ones were the same from last year so I was pretty happy. On the other hand, my English teacher was the one whom I'd felt blessed to be rid off the last year(Guess shadows come back to haunt you). Lastly, I had two economics teachers who were as different as possible. The lady was hot tempered and seemed to determined to trip us up with our limited knowledge. The other one (our principal) seemed confused but self satisfied and bored me to sleep with his every class.

As for my classmates, like I said, I hardly knew most of them. So I was pretty nervous that first day. I could almost feel them thinking, "Here's another padaku (studious)" (But then again, I was probably being paranoid) I didn't even know the names of many of them. Luckily, I found I was being a lot more communicative (I have no idea why) so I soon found out all their names at least.

I was still pretty sad the first week. Emotions ranged from self doubt to missing my former class. 11th felt like a huge step, a total change. One of the things that kept up my spirits at this time was regularly meeting with my old classmates. Hearing them complain about their teachers, timetables, classrooms and classmates had quite a calming effect and helped me not feel too isolated.

The next couple weeks were pretty unique. Slowly, I learned to adjust to the new surroundings and feel more comfortable. I learned to establish fresh connections while retaining my old ones. I was finally doing all the things I'd planned for 11th class. Reading new books, listening to new and old songs, blogging, chatting in school, calling friends on the telephone, watching new movies all helped me calm down and go with the flow.

The last few weeks were pretty exciting. I'd made many new friends in my class. Studies were getting more and more interesting. And there were loads of funny incidents in class too. The latest one was this: In geography class, someone decided to ask why tsunamis don't hit a particular area. On cross examination (I think our teacher decided to test how much he knew first), he said that they were caused by water pollution. On further questioning, he revealed that water pollution was caused by global warming. And this having only the faintest idea what global warming was. 20 mins of scolding and lecturing by our teacher and a week's worth of laughs. Priceless :)

We also had two competitions in school: Solo singing, and On-the-spot solo dancing. Originally, I wasn't going to participate in either of them. But on the mornings themselves, I impulsively decided otherwise. In the music competition, I was the last performer and I didn't have a background track. When I started out, my hands were shaking pretty badly. So badly in fact, that my whole mike was shaking, making a very annoying tik tik tik sound. The other mike was malfunctioning, so I sang my song, constantly thinking, "Damn. I sound like crap". In the dance competition, I picked up a song I didn't even remember. I have no idea what I did, but I was pretty sure I'd embarrassed myself permanently. Later, everyone I met complimented me for both (but it's only now I'm believing them; I was quite convinced to the contrary). Bless them.

In this last week, I began observing all the changes that had taken place. I've made plenty of new friends, the new students have settled in, I'm doing well with my teachers, I enjoy my subjects, I now feel more comfortable in my choice and I'm able to pursue many of my extra curricular pursuits. Looking back, I'm glad I gave myself time. Time to adjust, to accept and to enjoy. And now abruptly it's all over. A whole summer away from school.

Summer holidays are here.

Lost, bewildered, confused....what now???!!!

A whole summer of reading, writing, singing, listening, talking, studying and a chance to make the most of it that I can. A fresh blank page for me to write on. What more can I ask for?

Will there be memories worth treasuring?

P.S. Recent information says that the results for the tenth class CBSE board will be released in a few days. All I can say is, "Eeeeeeeeeeep!" 

Awards!

Today my blog received its first two awards:

So first of all....




Thanks Thousif!


Do drop by his post here to see the other winners at the Raza Awards :) Some pretty amazing blogs. I'm not going to be vain enough to repeat his words of praise, but either way, I was thrilled........


I'm also taking this opportunity to list another award I'd received. Thousif's awards are the first I've received since I started this blog, but I got another one before that. Here it is:

So,


Thanks Nil!


To both Thousif and Nil, a million thanks. You guys are both seriously inspirational and your motivation (especially yours Nil ;) ) was(is) really valuable. Appreciation from you really makes my day. I love you guys and your blogs are awesome! You and all the others who've commented on my blog have really helped me keep writing and enjoy it   :)
So now to continue the chain, I'm passing on the best follower award to:
















Vivarjitha!!!   Thanks for following my blog with such enthusiasm. Keep writing!









BTW, Have lots of posts planned and will start putting them up soon. And until then, to all my readers, thank you!