I apologize again for being so irregular. But with a viral fever and preboards to keep me busy, I think I can claim amnesty! I would have really liked to write some kind of great nostalgia piece about my last days in school, but this post is a narration of a specific event and the lessons I've drawn from it.
I happen to be writing today because it's a very special occasion. A once in a lifetime kind of occasion: my official farewell from school!
I'd already experienced it in another way, from the sidelines, when I was in class XI. There is a morning program with a computer presentation (pics of past years!) and a party in the evening, in which students of class XI and XII have the chance to dance together to a DJ's tunes in the school basketball court.
Today I got the chance to experience it - as the subject. A function held for us, the senior most of the school, and practically ex students.
The morning program finished on time, and we all went home excited for the evening function (my reader, please forgive such brief mentions of these events; there's something else I want to talk about). The program was to begin at 3 and the dress code required all junior boys to wear jeans with kurta, suits for junior girls, suits for senior boys and sarees for senior girls. And this, of course, gets a lot of chatter and comparison going on among the students way before its time for farewell.
I arrived late by about an hour (a sacrifice on the altar of self satisfaction with looks!). But I wasn't very worried, I hadn't really planned about dancing anyway. You see, I feel shy dancing with others. But on the other hand, this was our farewell, and I would never again get the opportunity to dance with my friends - that too with everybody looking good, celebrating the evening in school.
But you know what, I actually swung into action. This is not because I dance well but feel shy, I've actually never really felt comfortable dancing in front of others. I can count on one hand the number of times I've willingly danced at a party. Plus, I had never danced in a sari. So yes, I was nervous. But seeing so many other girls going for it anyway anyhow, I decided to give it a shot - after all, how bad could I be? And I didn't want to regret later that I'd missed the opportunity.
But something happened this time. For about the first time, I didn't feel judged. My friends were busy dancing with an amazing variety of steps and I was not pushed out of the crowd. My friends were having so much fun! Why couldn't I? They didn't care how I danced. They were just kind of happy I was dancing. Shared joy. Some random movements thrown with the beats of the music and I was still part of the circle, not feeling left out as I usually did. After a while, faking it and copying some of the others' steps, I began feeling more like the dancer I was behind closed doors. I recalled some of those steps, made up some of my own and just went with it, feeling more and more free with every song . And for about the first time ever in my few experiences of dancing with other people, I enjoyed it. By the end, I was wishing that the DJ would play more songs, so I could really absorb this great new experience. I even saw smiles on the faces of some of my friends who had seen me dance for the first time and knew well that I didn't usually dance. Even if I didn't love every song, I tried almost every song, going along with the girls in whichever group I happened to be standing in at the time. At the end, I surprised even myself: Could I really dance in a sari and that well? Even if I wasn't great or the best, I certainly wasn't terrible. And I could even see a few other girls looking as confused as I used to be, wondering how to dance in their sari or what step to use. I took the whole event as a proof of my own belief - You can't miss what you've never tried. This dancing thing which I'd avoided for so long was wonderful!
All this brought back rather vividly to mind my first farewell, as a student of class XI. At the time, I felt I had only about one suit in my wardrobe that was worthy of the occasion. And it happened to be a plain white one. I thought it would look very nice paired with some silver jewellery and heels. Unfortunately, on the very morning of the farewell I began feeling sick. I considered this a bad omen. Nevertheless, I was determined to make it to the evening function. I got ready well in time and arrived there to discover that no girl had thought to wear white. It was a blaze of colour and materials everywhere as my classmates fluttered around in suits of various cuts and with colourful accessories. I spent some time with them, but kept feeling awkward, to the point of assuring myself that I was a total idiot - they must be all thinking I looked odd. And I felt odd, standing aside from the dance floor, feeling shy. Soon after, I left that gathering.
I went up the stairs to the next floor, crying. I felt miserable. I looked bad and I felt afraid to dance. Oh, it was so bad of me when I was in a gathering of girls who all seemed to take to it so naturally. Oh, what had I done wrong, why could I not dance? Why did I not have something better to wear? And with such depressing thoughts, I sat on a chair near the staff room, watching the sunset. The solace I hoped for did not come, but I was ordered away, so I wandered along the first and second floor corridors, looking down at the dancers in the central basketball court. I felt so apart from them, so alone that I chided myself for quite a while. I even thought of dancing alone in the corridor, just to make myself feel better, but realized that my seniors were roaming there, cameras in hand. My mind began constructing unpleasant repercussions of my actions: I would be looked down upon for the rest of my life, I would never learn to dance with friends, I would miss out on making friends crucial to my future etc. Later, it even came down to thinking that I did not 'deserve' any of this since I had so many faults. Maybe all the people who knew me deserved better. They deserved to know a Charu who was better than me..maybe even one with a different name, mine probably wasn't a good one. In a nutshell, I devalued my existence.
I did eventually come down from the corridors, but I was feeling too sad inside to really join in the last dances and songs. I left quickly, escaping the scene. That whole experience which had been preceded by so much excitement, became a bad memory I've tried to forget in this past year.
Dear reader if you've read this far, here's the message: I'm not mentioning bad memories of the past to dig up skeletons. My purpose is to free myself of a bad memory by sharing it with the world. I'd also like others to take any lessons they find in the story. What I ultimately realized was this: I avoided dancing for a long, long time because I felt shy and also feared the consequences if I danced badly. I denied countless invitations through the years to dance, often standing by the dance floor, alone or taking photographs of others. Now, a door that was open for the past so many years is closed - the opportunity to dance with my friends at school. But I want to celebrate the fact that a new door has opened. College, university, job and who knows what else...I have my whole life stretched out ahead! There will probably be many, many chances to do the things I love, including dancing, if I choose. My time at school, even without the experiences I missed out on, was the time spent at a learning ground. I'd learned things there which it was better to learn than to miss out on, and even if it was the last day, I'm grateful I learned them. It was almost appropriate that I learn to change my mind about my fears when I was there.
Most importantly, I've learned this: saying no to something out of fear is a way of saying no to life itself. And there could always be so many surprises stored just around that choice of choosing something new over an outcome we force on ourselves. You could grow as a person, learn new things, build happy memories, make new friends, discover your hidden talents, find a new source of joy or even all of these, packed into the same new experience. To fear doing something due to a past failure only binds us to the past, making the present a shadow of it, rather than something that illuminates our future. Leave behind jealousy, anxiety, sadness...The present moments of life never come back again. And you don't have to search or find happiness, you only have to put in the effort to discover it all around you. Even I know now that I'll take up opportunities to dance when they come up.
May you say yes to many new things in the new year and discover fresh, happy surprises in your life :) :) :)
Friday, January 27, 2012
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Compliment
So... it's Christmas today.
And I have no idea what to write about. So I've decided to settle on something that I am comfortable with: giving compliments.
One of my pleasures in life is giving people genuine and sincere appreciation. There is something very pleasant in the way their faces light up with happiness (or embarrassment!) when they hear a compliment. It has been a great way for me to appreciate things. And that has been a source of inspiration. It motivates me want to do better myself and it makes me happy that there is another 'good' thing out there in the world. Things I find worth appreciating like talents, qualities, achievements are a testimony to the greatness in human spirit.
I remember when I read an interview of the author, Matthew Reilly, of a book called Area 7. He said two things that stayed with me - One, when asked the best advice for an aspiring writer, he said 'There's no such thing as an aspiring writer. You are a writer, period' and second, he stated later that one of the best gifts one can give an upcoming writer is a compliment. It reminded me of the time when I was trying to pick up writing as a real hobby. Compliments had been one of the things that kept me going.
You never know when a compliment may cheer up a sad heart. You never know when it could turn someone's bad day around. You never really know how much a compliment may matter to someone. I remember times when I've really worked on things and then didn't receive the praise I felt I deserved. It stung. There were other times when I thought I'd flunked badly in things and yet everyone would be around congratulating me and making me feel better.
I sometimes think that compliments are like bouquets of flowers - except that they stay fresh in mind. It's wonderful to think back to the past times and remember the kind compliments I've been showered with.
Of course, a compliment doesn't always have to be certain words said out loud. It can be respecting a person's opinions, listening when the person speaks, being patient when someone rambles, caring when the person asks for help, giving surprise gifts to cheer someone up...Just a way of showing them that there is something about them that's valuable.
Some may say that things are more impersonal now. It is an era which almost requires us to make friends for personal gain, say, to schmooze an official to get our way or send extravagant gifts to important business colleagues. Witness the boom in mass production of generic greeting cards and gifts. It's picked up in a store, giftwrapped, addressed and sent on its way. But there is still space for meaningful gifts isn't there? Those misspelled words that make up a child's first poems, the shaky lines that draw a house on the cover of a special greeting card just for you. Of course, there are also those unique gifts that are thoughtful and kind and may come from friends, family, acquaintances or even strangers.
As life becomes ever more fast paced, there is perhaps not enough time always for those quiet walks in nature, reflective meditations and regular festivities. On the deepest level, a compliment is an assurance to us that we're doing fine.
So this Christmas, here's a salute from me to all those cool, talented, wonderful people I've been lucky enough to know and appreciate. And a special thanks to all those who've ever complimented me.
Image Credit
I think I'll end with these thoughts for now
"Nothing makes people so worthy of compliments as receiving them. One is more delightful for being told one is delightful -- just as one is more angry for being told one is angry" - Katherine F. Gerould
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around - Leo F. Buscagalia
May you receive many sincere compliments in the new year to come :)
And I have no idea what to write about. So I've decided to settle on something that I am comfortable with: giving compliments.
One of my pleasures in life is giving people genuine and sincere appreciation. There is something very pleasant in the way their faces light up with happiness (or embarrassment!) when they hear a compliment. It has been a great way for me to appreciate things. And that has been a source of inspiration. It motivates me want to do better myself and it makes me happy that there is another 'good' thing out there in the world. Things I find worth appreciating like talents, qualities, achievements are a testimony to the greatness in human spirit.
I remember when I read an interview of the author, Matthew Reilly, of a book called Area 7. He said two things that stayed with me - One, when asked the best advice for an aspiring writer, he said 'There's no such thing as an aspiring writer. You are a writer, period' and second, he stated later that one of the best gifts one can give an upcoming writer is a compliment. It reminded me of the time when I was trying to pick up writing as a real hobby. Compliments had been one of the things that kept me going.
You never know when a compliment may cheer up a sad heart. You never know when it could turn someone's bad day around. You never really know how much a compliment may matter to someone. I remember times when I've really worked on things and then didn't receive the praise I felt I deserved. It stung. There were other times when I thought I'd flunked badly in things and yet everyone would be around congratulating me and making me feel better.
I sometimes think that compliments are like bouquets of flowers - except that they stay fresh in mind. It's wonderful to think back to the past times and remember the kind compliments I've been showered with.
Of course, a compliment doesn't always have to be certain words said out loud. It can be respecting a person's opinions, listening when the person speaks, being patient when someone rambles, caring when the person asks for help, giving surprise gifts to cheer someone up...Just a way of showing them that there is something about them that's valuable.
Some may say that things are more impersonal now. It is an era which almost requires us to make friends for personal gain, say, to schmooze an official to get our way or send extravagant gifts to important business colleagues. Witness the boom in mass production of generic greeting cards and gifts. It's picked up in a store, giftwrapped, addressed and sent on its way. But there is still space for meaningful gifts isn't there? Those misspelled words that make up a child's first poems, the shaky lines that draw a house on the cover of a special greeting card just for you. Of course, there are also those unique gifts that are thoughtful and kind and may come from friends, family, acquaintances or even strangers.
As life becomes ever more fast paced, there is perhaps not enough time always for those quiet walks in nature, reflective meditations and regular festivities. On the deepest level, a compliment is an assurance to us that we're doing fine.
So this Christmas, here's a salute from me to all those cool, talented, wonderful people I've been lucky enough to know and appreciate. And a special thanks to all those who've ever complimented me.
Image Credit
I think I'll end with these thoughts for now
"Nothing makes people so worthy of compliments as receiving them. One is more delightful for being told one is delightful -- just as one is more angry for being told one is angry" - Katherine F. Gerould
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around - Leo F. Buscagalia
Friday, December 9, 2011
Searching for happiness
Sorry I've been off blogger for so long. 12th class exams are persistent nags. The datesheet above my desk has been ticking like a time bomb ever since it arrived. Studying for exams and lots of other events have kept me on high stress mode for a while now. It got to the point when I was literally running away from studies, something I don't normally do. I went to watch a movie right before the exams and even that didn't make my stress go down. This particular post I'm writing about one thing that helped, in a small way, during those busy days - A visit to the park. I wrote this when I was there and even if it doesn't qualify as a poem, it still brings a smile to my face when I read it. I won't bore you with all the thoughts that were in my mind at the time, but honestly, each line has a lot of ideas behind it.
The quiet secrets we miss
Not all of life's pleasures
advertise themselves ostentatiously
with full page spreads and exclusive jingles.
Some hide, in the fringes of our daily life,
in the quieter corners of our memories.
A sunlit, tree lined driveway.
A broad, uncongested road
with space shared by cars and trees.
A few stray dogs searching for bare sustenance.
Lamposts, peeking from the tree tops, watching solemnly.
It is quiet inside the park.
Man and animal share the grass and sunlight.
Little children hold their grandparents' hands
straining to fly, and meet every squirrel, sparrow and butterfly.
They can find new things in every flower of the same bush.
Many others, young and old, walk by my bench,
their feet crunching the sand in different rhythms, fast and slow.
Some are game enough to play games with the children
or to throw food for the animals perched ready.
But it is not silent.
People walk by, talking goals, politics, business.
A little boy celebrates his cricket bat.
With caws, coos and calls, even the birds converse above us.
Families enjoy the time they have together.
I am sure that if I get up and talk a walk,
I will find many such pleasures.
But will I have the courage to come again?
- Charu
The quiet secrets we miss
Not all of life's pleasures
advertise themselves ostentatiously
with full page spreads and exclusive jingles.
Some hide, in the fringes of our daily life,
in the quieter corners of our memories.
A sunlit, tree lined driveway.
A broad, uncongested road
with space shared by cars and trees.
A few stray dogs searching for bare sustenance.
Lamposts, peeking from the tree tops, watching solemnly.
It is quiet inside the park.
Man and animal share the grass and sunlight.
Little children hold their grandparents' hands
straining to fly, and meet every squirrel, sparrow and butterfly.
They can find new things in every flower of the same bush.
Many others, young and old, walk by my bench,
their feet crunching the sand in different rhythms, fast and slow.
Some are game enough to play games with the children
or to throw food for the animals perched ready.
But it is not silent.
People walk by, talking goals, politics, business.
A little boy celebrates his cricket bat.
With caws, coos and calls, even the birds converse above us.
Families enjoy the time they have together.
I am sure that if I get up and talk a walk,
I will find many such pleasures.
But will I have the courage to come again?
- Charu
Happiness...
p.s. Don't run away from what could make you truly happy
Photo Credit: Tookie 油姬
Friday, November 18, 2011
Rediscovering adventure
I woke up yesterday morning from a strange dream which had Batman, a masked villain, my school friends, the school auditorium and a hot air balloon :D
And I woke up wishing some of it could be true.
Life has seemed so trapped lately. Studies, attempts (read: short lived, failed attempts) to have fun, dissatisfaction with whatever I did etc. etc. This came to head when I realized something: I'd forgotten to have fun (my friends will probably roll their eyes here). But worse, I had no idea what was fun for me. Did I actually like TV or internet surfing? Did I enjoy rereading my favourite books? Did I enjoy watching new movies? Did I enjoy sleeping? I wasn't even sure what I really enjoyed!
Yesterday morning, I realized what I enjoyed: adventure
But I realized I'm still in class 12th. No chance of a proper vacation and even a day off from studies would induce guilt trips. What kind of adventure could I possibly have in the next six months that would make me feel alive again?
And some day, sooner or later, the fun of new scenes and situations would disappear. Either the number of places I could explore would run out or I'd be too old (I'm kind of afraid of becoming an adult) to enjoy new things. Hmmm...what's the one way to ensure that the adventure lasts? Like I wrote in an earlier post, The Gift of a Day, how could I wake up every morning excited? It used to be easier when I was a kid. Life itself felt like an adventure then.
Maybe I need a new pair of eyes. One that tries to stay unclouded by pessimism, sadness and worry. One that sees and takes advantage of all the good that's available - long days, kind friends, good health. One that doesn't let me stay down when I'm upset. One that's so optimistic that it's always ready to keep moving on. Many experiences have probably made me mellow down and mature. Wisdom doesn't mean I have to be serious all the time. And it doesn't mean I have to lose my drive. I only have one life. Better take care of myself. Getting or not getting something might not mean so much ten years from now or when my life is over. Why make myself unhappy over things that don't really matter?
So I spent my morning listening to my favourite songs that I hadn't listened to in a long time. In a few days, I'll be meeting my peers in school again. Will they notice a change? Will they like me better? But I should have more faith. Because those who'll mind don't matter and those who matter won't mind. After some months when the farewell and boards have happened, who knows how many will choose to stay in my life?
Life never ends. Every day is an adventure when you can choose to find something new, or lose yourself along the way. Instead of trying, making th choice to commit and do will be my mantra for the next few days. My next adventure could be around the corner...if I keep my eyes open :)
And I woke up wishing some of it could be true.
Life has seemed so trapped lately. Studies, attempts (read: short lived, failed attempts) to have fun, dissatisfaction with whatever I did etc. etc. This came to head when I realized something: I'd forgotten to have fun (my friends will probably roll their eyes here). But worse, I had no idea what was fun for me. Did I actually like TV or internet surfing? Did I enjoy rereading my favourite books? Did I enjoy watching new movies? Did I enjoy sleeping? I wasn't even sure what I really enjoyed!
Yesterday morning, I realized what I enjoyed: adventure
But I realized I'm still in class 12th. No chance of a proper vacation and even a day off from studies would induce guilt trips. What kind of adventure could I possibly have in the next six months that would make me feel alive again?
And some day, sooner or later, the fun of new scenes and situations would disappear. Either the number of places I could explore would run out or I'd be too old (I'm kind of afraid of becoming an adult) to enjoy new things. Hmmm...what's the one way to ensure that the adventure lasts? Like I wrote in an earlier post, The Gift of a Day, how could I wake up every morning excited? It used to be easier when I was a kid. Life itself felt like an adventure then.
Maybe I need a new pair of eyes. One that tries to stay unclouded by pessimism, sadness and worry. One that sees and takes advantage of all the good that's available - long days, kind friends, good health. One that doesn't let me stay down when I'm upset. One that's so optimistic that it's always ready to keep moving on. Many experiences have probably made me mellow down and mature. Wisdom doesn't mean I have to be serious all the time. And it doesn't mean I have to lose my drive. I only have one life. Better take care of myself. Getting or not getting something might not mean so much ten years from now or when my life is over. Why make myself unhappy over things that don't really matter?
So I spent my morning listening to my favourite songs that I hadn't listened to in a long time. In a few days, I'll be meeting my peers in school again. Will they notice a change? Will they like me better? But I should have more faith. Because those who'll mind don't matter and those who matter won't mind. After some months when the farewell and boards have happened, who knows how many will choose to stay in my life?
Life never ends. Every day is an adventure when you can choose to find something new, or lose yourself along the way. Instead of trying, making th choice to commit and do will be my mantra for the next few days. My next adventure could be around the corner...if I keep my eyes open :)
Only eyes open to new things will find them. Only hearts open to happiness will feel it.
Image from: here
Saturday, November 12, 2011
9 myths about 12th class
Yesterday was my last official (or maybe unofficial?) day in class 12th - at least from regular classes. I will write a post on the overall experience some day - but I'm not ready to let go of it just yet. So continuing the theme of my last post, here is a little list I pulled together about 9 enduring myths about 12th class in the CBSE. Enjoy!
9. This year can't be something special, just something forced on you
You might have no control on the way the education system is made, but you do have control on your own potential. It's up to you to make the best of it, waste it or destroy it. Each and every day, you will have chances to do the better thing and every day it's your call. Many 12thees have wonderful memories of the times they spent with their family and friends. Many ordinary things seem all the more special because you're in 12th, even something as small as being called "didi" or "bhaiya". The future is full of mystery - many wonderful surprises might be waiting for you. You really can look back on this year with pride and happiness.
8. You won't mess up at all and won't have a single problem
If you had that magical ability, you probably wouldn't have messed up at all in the years until now. Little mistakes, silly mistakes, annoyances, sad things...they all could happen. Be as cocky as you want, but if mistakes happen, deal with them. It's really the mistakes you'll learn your most valuable lessons from. Really make this YOUR year. And don't panic!
7. If you don't have friends in your section, you're doomed
No way, 12th class is all ABOUT making friends. One of the truest things I was ever told is that in the last year, everyone comes together. The sense of camaraderie actually becomes stronger because all the students in your batch suddenly realise that they're all in the same class - the most senior in the school, soon to pass out. In fact, I've actually seen some friendships grow stronger because the students were in different sections - they valued the time with each other more. And besides, new friendships will form, if you open your heart to them.
6. Everyone should understand what you're going through
Don't get upset when people don't "get" what you're going through. With every age, every school, every past, the experience changes. It is because the emotions may be similar, that stereotypes continue. Everyone you know may start advising you, pitying you, ignoring your problems or (seemingly) scheming against you. Take it easy though - your problems maybe something only you know, but it won't help you to lash out on them or ruin your mood. And it won't help them empathise either. Not everyone might understand, but sometimes, you both can get along even if they don't!
5. Getting stressed out means you care about your studies
I've even tried intentionally stressing myself out, just to get started studying for an upcoming test. You can experiment with this if you like, but I'd say, don't bother with it. The real problem is a lack of motivation. Sustained, unhealthy stress is not good for you. And the difference between unhealthy and healthy stress is how it makes you feel, deep down. Real motivation will get you studying eagerly, happily and fruitfully. Aim for motivation rather than stress.
4. 'Time management', 'accountability' and 'deadlines' are all words made for adults
Haha, you'll get to hear them pretty often from people when you're in 12th. Especially from teachers who begin threatening you on Day 1 and other people who'll have expectations from you. Don't worry, the amazing part is - they're not so bad! In fact, they are actually useful things you can learn which will help you for years and years. You might not learn everything there is to know about them in one year, but if you approach the year determined to learn, these are things worth discovering. Accept it or not, you will become an adult soon. In fact, by the end of the year, you might even discover a way to work them into your style :)
3. You can do anything if you want to, when you want to.
Somewhere, sometime there will be some kind of trade-off, compromise or even, sacrifice. Real maturity will come from doing what you know what is right. While it may sometimes feel like you've lost your freedom, you're actually building it up, little by little. By putting your time, money and energy in the right things you gain control on your life and most of all, on yourself. You get a chance to be that hero who does the right thing in the face of temptation.
2. You'll have three whole months to study before the board exams
Not true, as countless students will testify. Typically, you'll have several exams before the boards which will test you on your complete syllabus. The last few months before the boards usually go into term exams, pre-boards, practicals and lots of revisions. The best time to study is early in the year, in the holidays and all those times you think you don't need to study.
1. For the 12 months you're in 12th grade, you have no life - except studies
NO, your life still remains what you make it. Even the most studious and conscientious take time off study sometimes in 12th and guess what? The sky doesn't fall over their heads. Many students keep in touch with their hobbies along with regular studies. While it is true that studies are important for your future in this year, you still have the choice of how much responsibility to take up. And many of these extra-curriculars will benefit you directly or indirectly. What is true however is that every thing you do will most definitely have consequences and no good action can have a bad consequence. Make this one last year in school the best it can be.
Those of you out there who've already gone through 12th, what would you add to this list?
9. This year can't be something special, just something forced on you
You might have no control on the way the education system is made, but you do have control on your own potential. It's up to you to make the best of it, waste it or destroy it. Each and every day, you will have chances to do the better thing and every day it's your call. Many 12thees have wonderful memories of the times they spent with their family and friends. Many ordinary things seem all the more special because you're in 12th, even something as small as being called "didi" or "bhaiya". The future is full of mystery - many wonderful surprises might be waiting for you. You really can look back on this year with pride and happiness.
8. You won't mess up at all and won't have a single problem
If you had that magical ability, you probably wouldn't have messed up at all in the years until now. Little mistakes, silly mistakes, annoyances, sad things...they all could happen. Be as cocky as you want, but if mistakes happen, deal with them. It's really the mistakes you'll learn your most valuable lessons from. Really make this YOUR year. And don't panic!
7. If you don't have friends in your section, you're doomed
No way, 12th class is all ABOUT making friends. One of the truest things I was ever told is that in the last year, everyone comes together. The sense of camaraderie actually becomes stronger because all the students in your batch suddenly realise that they're all in the same class - the most senior in the school, soon to pass out. In fact, I've actually seen some friendships grow stronger because the students were in different sections - they valued the time with each other more. And besides, new friendships will form, if you open your heart to them.
6. Everyone should understand what you're going through
Don't get upset when people don't "get" what you're going through. With every age, every school, every past, the experience changes. It is because the emotions may be similar, that stereotypes continue. Everyone you know may start advising you, pitying you, ignoring your problems or (seemingly) scheming against you. Take it easy though - your problems maybe something only you know, but it won't help you to lash out on them or ruin your mood. And it won't help them empathise either. Not everyone might understand, but sometimes, you both can get along even if they don't!
5. Getting stressed out means you care about your studies
I've even tried intentionally stressing myself out, just to get started studying for an upcoming test. You can experiment with this if you like, but I'd say, don't bother with it. The real problem is a lack of motivation. Sustained, unhealthy stress is not good for you. And the difference between unhealthy and healthy stress is how it makes you feel, deep down. Real motivation will get you studying eagerly, happily and fruitfully. Aim for motivation rather than stress.
4. 'Time management', 'accountability' and 'deadlines' are all words made for adults
Haha, you'll get to hear them pretty often from people when you're in 12th. Especially from teachers who begin threatening you on Day 1 and other people who'll have expectations from you. Don't worry, the amazing part is - they're not so bad! In fact, they are actually useful things you can learn which will help you for years and years. You might not learn everything there is to know about them in one year, but if you approach the year determined to learn, these are things worth discovering. Accept it or not, you will become an adult soon. In fact, by the end of the year, you might even discover a way to work them into your style :)
3. You can do anything if you want to, when you want to.
Somewhere, sometime there will be some kind of trade-off, compromise or even, sacrifice. Real maturity will come from doing what you know what is right. While it may sometimes feel like you've lost your freedom, you're actually building it up, little by little. By putting your time, money and energy in the right things you gain control on your life and most of all, on yourself. You get a chance to be that hero who does the right thing in the face of temptation.
2. You'll have three whole months to study before the board exams
Not true, as countless students will testify. Typically, you'll have several exams before the boards which will test you on your complete syllabus. The last few months before the boards usually go into term exams, pre-boards, practicals and lots of revisions. The best time to study is early in the year, in the holidays and all those times you think you don't need to study.
1. For the 12 months you're in 12th grade, you have no life - except studies
NO, your life still remains what you make it. Even the most studious and conscientious take time off study sometimes in 12th and guess what? The sky doesn't fall over their heads. Many students keep in touch with their hobbies along with regular studies. While it is true that studies are important for your future in this year, you still have the choice of how much responsibility to take up. And many of these extra-curriculars will benefit you directly or indirectly. What is true however is that every thing you do will most definitely have consequences and no good action can have a bad consequence. Make this one last year in school the best it can be.
Make the most of the journey!
Those of you out there who've already gone through 12th, what would you add to this list?
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