A poem - Dying and living everyday

I wrote this poem a few weeks back. What do you think?

Dying and Living Everyday

My eyes close, my breath slows
My hands fall, my legs stop.
It is all too much, the world's demands.
Do unadulterated feelings find no place?
I carry a hidden weight
Of my own and the world's problems
Which seems to grow with my knowledge
And my realization that the world has taught me want.
Beautiful, glazed posters taped above my desk
Teaching my heart to forget its dreams
As if they have already been realized.
To focus on the small, daily things of life.
When I am taught to want what the world seems to want
Who am I but a lonely drop in the ocean?
There is pattern, order and structure around me
But I don't feel freedom.
There is something unnatural in the things I do
When the world teaches me to act, to get what I want
Where shall quiet thinking and natural action find place?
But it is difficult to write such things.
It is difficult to reach my heart
When it is buried under the layers
The world says it needs.

               - Charu

What do we live for?

I got the pic here

Happiness...and being too busy *sigh*

When I've been absent from my own blog for almost a month, I do owe my readers an apology. Sorry! But honestly, life in 12th has really taught me what "busy" means. It's also taught me to respect words like "huge" and "guilty" especially when I apply those words to my current syllabus for the half yearly exams ;)

But moving on...

I remember this day about a month back. A day when I felt really, completely happy. The week before I had been tense about my exams (and in retrospect, I would have done better to study stress free than just worry). But for some reason, I decided to give myself an off that day - a real off, like I hadn't had in a long time. A day in which I could just lie down and daydream, a day in which I could roam and watch TV with abandon. I remember I'd dreamed of a harbour the night before. And to me, that meant that I wanted to explore something new, and I did. After a very long time, I slept without setting an alarm.

For one day, I did what I liked and I didn't judge myself. Right, wrong...it didn't matter, I wasn't a bad person. I didn't need to breathe down my own neck (figuratively) making sure I toed the line of some ridiculous fuzzy fantasy in my mind - the kind that's defined more by what it's not than by what it is. And a standard that opens me, the one living the real life, to a lot of criticism.

There was something different that day. I felt grateful for all I had - air, food, water, home, an education, parents and so much more that I take for granted in the everyday. I have everything I need. That evening, watching Christmas Carol, I felt so, so happy. I even wrote a poem just to release some of it :

When my soul can sing of the joys of love
And my heart can dance to the music of that soul.
When my lips speak poetry
And my mind soars on wings.
When the tiniest thing means a lot more
And love, generosity and kindness come naturally.
When a pure joy brims forth
And an inexpressible contentment colours our tone.
When beauty can be easily seen
And happiness longs to be shared.
When trust and faith rest unhurried to build a home
And bright eyes and open arms give freedom.
When homeliness and ordinariness bring emotions to our eyes
And we thank the world for its gifts.
When a soft new flame, stronger than fire, is kindled
And its life and radiance can feel no end.


Old fashioned maybe. But what about your special, happy moments? How did they feel? Share it in the comments...or just write your thoughts on mine!

And keep smiling this week!...

I go the pic here

Poem - Where beauty lies

Another poem I wrote some time back. What do you think of it?

Where beauty lies

I see stars high up in the sky.
I wish I could reach them.
But it is only in dreams that I can fly
And see the stars up close.
So I search on earth for another such beauty
I see the glistening of rivers at sunset
and the sparkle of diamonds and crystal.
I see the glitter of raindrops on leaves and spiderwebs
and the twinkle of sequins stitched on clothes.
I see the shimmer of mist and fog at sunrise
and the dull sheen of smoke.
I see the brightness of the sun itself
and the glow of light bulbs
I see the spark of lightning cracks
and the flash of camera flashes.
Yes, I can reach and enjoy all these more easily than stars.
But there is a true beauty that I cannot capture anywhere except in my heart
And that is the beauty of things seen by eyes alight with wonder
and felt by hearts filled with joy.
Then the beauties of such stars
and the joys I can derive from them
are incomparable, for they are all different.

-Charu

I got the pic here