Missed me? Welcome Summer Holidays!

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It's been a while since I updated my blog; Two weeks and three days in fact. Events in these two weeks have been plenty exciting and though I won't mention all of them, I'm sure you'll forgive me. Lots of things had captured my attention and to be honest, I'm glad with the way I've pulled through.

My diary mentions the following significant events:

• Being elected as President Student Council of my school and liking my photo in the Investiture ceremony
• Discovering that I badly need a break from studies and from my whole environment
• Studying grudgingly for my first unit tests of 12th class
• My grumbling about the hot weather
• The Talent Hunt which, despite making me sad with my performance, strongly highlighted where I needed to improve
• My receiving happily the Unit Test papers in which I had done well 
• My realising, after the first Student Parliament in school, that the power holders are always attacked with criticism and complaints and most importantly
• Discovering in daily life many of the learnings that I've been ignoring

But for now, I'm in my Summer Holidays! An amazing block of time that officially started on the 14th and will end on the 4th of July. I have big plans this time, especially considering that these will be my last summer holidays  in school ever again (another curse of 12th class). I'll write an ode on missing and leaving them behind another time though. For now, I want to focus on the possibilities.

I could while away my days watching TV, following little whims and fancies throughout the day, randomly surfing on the net and all the other procrastination-based tasks aimed at one thing: escaping the secret fear that I have nothing to do. While the whole day stretches with the nothingness from which things are made, I stand baffled while my inner critic rules out one option after another, helped by my lazy side. Eventually, I would have forced myself to make some trifling achievements (courtesy of my mood swings), enjoyed a few sundry events(courtesy of my luck), but I would feel bad that I didn't reach my potential. And the worst part, that I wasn't in enough control.

The thing about summer holidays is, it leaves you with yourself...if you choose. So what's the cure? Don't be alone. Be intensely with the world, even if you're by yourself. If you feel yourself as part of the world, you won't be lonely. And not being lonely gives you the motivation for a lot of things right? After all, time hasn't stopped. You just have an opportunity to realise it in a new way, on your own terms.

So what are these big plans I'm alluding to? Studies obviously are part of the plan (it's 12th, go figure). I even had to cancel an exciting trip to Cuttack with friends to hang around in Maths tuition. Ah well. But I plan to make it worth it. So my first challenge is: Make maths fun. Gulp.

Other challenges related to studies include completing my holiday homework in a low-stress and actually useful way, you know, with really learning something along the way. And this is a challenge only because I'm a chronic last-minute-work-completer. Added to that is the tall order of doing self study every day (too much italics?)

But my really fun plans are the ones which involve my hobbies and explorations. I plan to work on piano and writing, read new books, watch new movies, visit friends and finally sit down and research career options. Yeah, that's a lot to do. But I've got my last (and hopefully best) summer vacation to do it.

And you know why I'm writing all this down? To make sure I stick to it. Having it published on my blog does add an ounce of resolution to my mission. So wish me luck readers! I'll be back later this week with another post.




To all other students, wish you an awesome vacation ahead :)

Another poem - The Core

I wrote this poem several days back. What do you think?

                                                                The Core 

I won't play with pretty, complicated words. I'll show hard rocks
Which are pretty only because they have been
Polished by years and roughened by experience
In the subtle nuances and layers of a frightened world.
The truths which are the core of my being
Appear strange to you
Because you have been subdued.
You're afraid to live, to decide, to try.
You don't want to make mistakes or be politically incorrect
To speak your mind, even to yourself.
When you start to truly feel from the core of a heart as special as your own
Then you will know what I mean
Of the unquestioned belief we have in something that just "feels" right.
And then, I trust, you will doubt no more.
You will live your life without the smoke and mirrors.
It won't be easy and much may break
Before you discover your truths.
But again, it is your truth or your risk
To see if it's worth it.
For it is unquestionably your choice to cross the canyon.
Choose, with my blessings, the path to your happiness
Where success surpasses difficulty
Where, if the peaks are higher, the smiles are richer
For I share this story not be be a messiah
But to show you the one in you.


---Charu

Image from: http://dostis.ibibo.com/blogs

So, what's 12th class like?

I know I was curious before I'd started 12th.

Our batch started with a week of extra classes. No matter how many times we'd all heard that syllabus had to be finished by November, we didn't quite grasp the idea until classes actually began. Because it came as a rude shock when we realised that our teachers were going at the speed of Shatabdi trains to get syllabus complete on time. Learning was on a day to day basis for a while, in which you could consider yourself lucky if you just understood what was going on in the class at the moment. School itself is all about running around with free periods spent in covering up any work we missed. Besides, with tuitions, huge amounts of homework on deadline, personal stuff like mood swings and colds, getting time for self-study was a challenge. And this just made me realise its significance even more. I even went through a slightly hysterical phase when I fretted and whined that because I wasn't studying, I would fail! And of course, exams cannot be avoided...we have them from the 2nd!

But if nothing else, this made me relax. Talking to others (especially the science and commerce students who have tuitions every day of the week) made me feel better. I certainly wasn't alone in finishing with pens at an alarming rate :P Besides, it was a bonus to realise that we had plenty of holidays in this week and the last one, which gave us time to finish our work. I'll admit though, it takes a little getting used to, doing so much hard work. And there's that intimidating thought of going soon to shop for reference books. Intimidating because it'll seal our fate for the rest of the year. But then again, we're already making so many registers for every subject.*Sigh* Buried in books...

That was in general, what about each subject? As it turns out, there's something to say for each one. Political science is a total rush. Literally. Our teacher is aiming to "train our writing muscles" by dictating extremely fast. And by virtue of that, she's already due to finish 6 chapters before the summer holidays. Geography is a little better, because syllabus is pretty close to what we did in 10th and is not really hard. English is fairly interesting, though not being allowed to have your own opinion is a little annoying; We'll have to write the CBSE perception of the chapter to get marks. Maths is pretty funny because even if you can do it, sometimes, it just doesn't make sense! Economics is probably the best, because we're finally getting all the "conceptual" understanding we've wanted for years instead of just having to mug things up. That doesn't make it easy though, since syllabus is huge.

So I've also realised that no subject can be taken lightly, especially in the beginning. Apparently, it was literally true when our teachers told us that we shouldn't take a single holiday, because it becomes difficult to cover up later. But enough about studies, let me turn to something more exciting.

I'm contesting for Head Girl in the senior prefectorial board! Though I was and still am very excited about the possibility, I was overwhelmed by the amount of good wishes and congratulations I got. To anyone who wished me, thanks! You guys really help me love myself and my life *wide smile*

My tip to all 12th graders and anyone wondering about 12th: It's great if you care about your studies, but don't underestimate the value of breaks. They're good for you and your studies! And remember to keep achieving. Your little goals are important, whether it's to write something new, make a new friend, sing a new song or try something new. A sense of achievement and confidence will, I think, really help you pull through 12th class. Don't forget yourself in your studies! And keep yourself happy :-)

I don't quite know how, but as the week progressed, I'm feeling much better now. Guess there's a lot of truth in the saying " When you accept and embrace the things that are good for you instead of fighting them, life gets a lot easier " Said just now by me, of course ;)

A new approach to studies :D

Signing off optimistically before a new week, which promises to be even more hectic than than the last
Wishing you lots of smiles ahead
Charu




Image from: http://societyforhumanisticpsychology.blogspot.com/2010_06_01_archive.html

Another poem - Brain waves

I'd planned to put up a different poem today. But it doesn't feel ready yet, like I'm not finding the right words still. So I'm uploading this one which I wrote today morning. What do you think?

Brain Waves

You see, it's hard
To tell you what I want to say.
If I could I would
But since I can't, I won't.
Because there's too many, too much
Of thoughts and movement.
How can I keep up?
With bits and pieces of past, present and future
Memories, dreams, emotions, beliefs
And the time around me that races on
Moment by moment.
I tried sitting quietly
But that just makes it louder.
With millions of threads of thoughts
Nagging for attention,
I can't even follow one
To its source or its end.
Before I'm stopped by another, which promises more.
I need focus, I need peace.
I need the vision to see clearly from above.
I need a compass to show me the way
To get the most done
Before my mind runs wild,
Fruitlessly, in the jungle of my thoughts.

          ---Charu

Think of the number of drops which make up that wave...

Image from: http://www.greword.com/gre-word-of-the-day-waver-adj/

An update rendered necessary

An update rendered necessary...by the raindrops that just started two seconds ago. How could I neglect my readers sitting across from an April drizzle ?

How's my life been? Hard. As most of you might remember, I've started in 12th class as a Humanities student. It's only been two weeks and I'm already too tired. And exams probably start soon (i.e. no amount of time can be enough to prepare for them)

Humanities is not actually easy. If you have a passion for good general knowledge, then it would probably be down your alley. But if, like me, you don't, only you can help yourself.
In political science, Cold war was our starting point and the first thing I studied in 12th. Hmm...maybe that why studies are giving me a cold shoulder right now. But the real problem is that ma'am dictates EXTREMELY fast.      
   English is not to be taken lightly! We're supposed to make 5 registers. 1 for class work, two for self work and two for school assignments. And we've covered 3 chapters already. And on that point I might mention, teachers are going insanely fast with the course. Sure, they have to finish syllabus fast. But I'd never expected to complete two chapters of the course in a week of half day classes.
Maths is one of the wandering subjects. We started with the third chapter, went to the another and then came back to the third. It's easy so far, aside from the risk of plus-minus errors. As for Economics, it's going well for me because it's easy to understand and thus, enjoyable. But otherwise, I might actually need motivation to actually study in 12th class.

And of course, there is the amount of running around we're all doing. And the homework we're assigned. And the fatigue it's causing to our minds. I know I'm yawning by every last period. I honestly felt blessed when this weekend came. But you know weekends...never enough of them! Only the lovely weather is making me feel cheerful right now.

I wonder what the real board time will be like. Gulp.

Another example to show the amount of my stress (which has thankfully come down now) is the fact that the first library book I borrowed was the thin A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. A good stress buster actually, in a way.

And I have a debate on Wednesday for which I haven't prepared much.

Wish me luck people :) And I hope you're all doing well.

Oh and I'll be posting a poem in a few days, once I can take out some more guilt-free spare time. I thought this update should come first.

May the raindrops refresh you too...

Image from: http://johnbokma.com/mexit/2006/11/12/flowers-in-the-rain-2.html